Redemption
by Eternity's Angel of Mercy
Summary: (The final installment to The Bucket List Series. Takes place during Mass Effect 3.) The crew of the Normandy is forced to face the Reaper attacks on the front line. Tensions arise as the number of deaths mount, and Shepard struggles with her inability to save everyone - even those closest to her. "This is the way the world ends; not with a bang but a whimper."
1. Silver Coin

Disclaimer: Welcome to our final installment of The Bucket List Series! How excited is everyone? I am pretty stoked to be this close to finishing it. So, let's all climb on board the Garrus / Shepard train and see how this one winds up! As always, I don't own anything except my fingers that do all the typing. ::)

"This is the way the world ends, not with a bang but a whimper," is the famous quote from _The Hollow Men,_ a poem by T.S. Eliot.

Title chapter song: "Silver Coin," by Agnus and Julia Stone.

* * *

**Chapter 1**

**Silver Coin**

* * *

The nightmares had been the worst part of her confinement. She would awake all hours of the night, a sick weight in her stomach and the urge to vomit on her tongue. The dreams were never fully remembered, other than the crippling blackness and being utterly alone. And then Shepard would awake, gasping, and find herself just as alone as she had been in her dreams. It was usually about that time that she went through all of the reasons she shouldn't break out of her glorified cell and make a break for Palaven.

This morning found her tallying the pros and cons of skipping out on the final week of her tribunal. The questioning had gone on for six grueling months. By the third week Shepard was ready to pull her hair out. Now she was just pissed. The length of the tribunal, which should have only lasted two months at most, was due to "evidence." This _evidence _kept cropping up, conveniently _overlooked _prior to its discovery, and linked Shepard to the attack on the Bahak system. Never mind the fact that Shepard had hospital records showing her on Palaven at the time of the attack. When questioned about Bahak for the millionth time the previous day, Shepard had even gone as far to snarkily reply, on record, "Being in two places at once is something I've always wanted to do. Damned if it only happens when I am near death in a hospital and can't remember it."

The comment had bolstered her approval rating through the human, salarian and turian populace; it plummeted with what was left of the batarians. _Go figure, _she thought. _The one race that hates me for something I didn't do hates me even more when I defend myself._

Her omni-tool buzzed, the interface flashing up on her arm. A new message from Liara; one of the thousand she received daily.

_T'soni, Liara: How is the omni-tool? Did you go with the new Katnoss model I told you about?_

Shepard smiled, typing a quick affirmative. She hadn't realized Liara was also an information broker on omni-tools, but the asari seemed to be knowledgeable about everything. And she didn't waste any opportunity to prove it.

_T'soni, Liara: Good, I am sure you love it._

Shepard rolled her eyes. _Yes, Liara_, she typed_, I love it. Thank you for your uninhibited knowledge and insight into everything from omni-tools to criminal tracking. It makes my incarcerated life less hectic, having the SB as my personal secretary. _ It took a few moments for Liara to respond.

_T'soni, Liara: I was worried you might be angry with me, until I remembered confinement makes you edgy and sarcastic. Perhaps a case of acute claustrophobia? …Just teasing, Shepard. Good luck at the trial._

Shepard grinned and closed out her messages. She went to her private bathroom and took a quick shower, getting changed into the standard Alliance blues. She was amused and disheartened that she was allowed to wear them, now that she was demoted and stripped of all rank and title. She had lost everything she had worked so hard for, and all because she went off on her own to save humanity.

Shepard brushed out her hair, which was once again cut to Alliance regulations. It had grown out longer while she was with Cerberus, but the shorter hair suited her better. It was easier to manage, anyway. She applied her makeup in record time before going back into her living quarters for breakfast.

She watched the children across the street playing on the roof top, pretending to be Alliance pilots and rogue Collectors. She smiled as she munched on some less than appetizing instant-oatmeal, amused by the kids' antics. If only killing Collectors had been that easier. A few uttered '_pew, pew's_ and then they dropped dead.

She glanced at her omni-tool, whose interface lit up a startling pumpkin orange when activated. No new messages. Shepard sighed. Garrus had been…distant, to say the least, recent. She knew he was busy; he mentioned that he was helping the Primarch with something, and that he and his dad were working on getting proof on the Reaper threat. Shepard did her best to be supportive and not overburden him with pings; after all, he was busy. She, on the other hand, had nothing but time.

The oatmeal felt like it was congealing in her stomach, sitting heavy and unmoving. _What if something is happening on Palaven? What if they found something big?_ The thought of it made Shepard squirm in her seat. She pulled up her omni-tool's list of identifiers and found the Solana Vakarian's name. The youngest Vakarian always responded to pings immediately.

_Me: Solana, how are things on Palaven? Any new Reaper info?_

Shepard waited for twenty minutes, and still there was no response. The heavy feeling in her stomach worsened, becoming a curdling pain. Something… something was happening.

The door to her room opened and Anderson was there. His face was ashen, his hands clenching and unclenching. "Shepard, we need you."

Shepard's stomach turned. She didn't even bother saluting him. "Is it…?"

Anderson's gaze went to the floor for a moment before he met hers. "Your tribunal has been cancelled indefinitely. We need you in front of the Defense Committee. We don't know what it is but it's big. We just lost all communication outside of the Sol system."

Shepard got to her feet, biting back a smart comment about no longer being with the Alliance. No matter what her rank, be it civilian or commander, Shepard would defend her home. "Lead the way, Admiral."

* * *

Her hands were shaking. She wasn't sure if she was sweating or crying or both. All she knew was that Earth was being overrun, Mars was under attack, and now Kaidan was nearly dead. Shepard took a shaky breath, leaning heavily against the bulkhead of the shuttle bay. The cold metal bit into her arms, sharpening her mind as it did. She knew she needed to suit up. They'd be getting into the drop ship soon. Their destination was Palaven's largest moon, Menae. Palaven… where Shepard had spent a month after the Collector base. Where she and Garrus had parted ways, much to their displeasure.

And now she wasn't even sure if he was alive.

"Shepard?"

Shepard glanced up, meeting Liara's large eyes. Liara looked concerned, but did well to mask it. She stepped close to Shepard, offering her a small token. "This may not be the time or the place… but I would like it if you would keep this."

Shepard took the offered item, glancing over it. It was, from what she could tell, a coarse fibered necklace, inlaid with tiny eezo pebbles. At Shepard's questioning glance, Liara blushed. "It's a… a talisman, I suppose you could say. It is said to protect the heart and mind of the one who wears it. It's nothing fancy, but I… I want you to have it."

Shepard nodded, numbly tying the necklace around her throat as Liara continued to speak. "How are you holding up?"

"Not very well," Shepard returned, swallowing. "It's not something you can ever be prepared for. The death… the inhumanity of it all." She looked away, taking a shuddering breath. "Seeing life snuffed out, as if it wasn't even there. Seeing all of that… and then walking away."

Liara touched Shepard's elbow gently, her eyes full of sorrow and compassion. "I am so sorry, Shepard. I wish there was something I could do or say to make this better. But we will stop it. We will save Earth."

Shepard nodded, whispering, "I hope you're right."

* * *

Palaven was burning. Shepard tried her best to keep herself focused on the mission as they picked off the husks attacking Menae's communication tower. She tried to remember her purpose- she was here to lead. She swallowed down her fear and pain and continued to defend Liara as she worked on the comm. tower.

She heard James whooping to her left – he was enjoying the destruction, or so it seemed. Or perhaps he was busy pretending that he was on Earth, taking back his homeland. Whatever his reason, his enthusiasm did a little bit to ease her tensions.

Shepard squatted down on the hard ground, switching out her ammo for the disruptor variety during a lull in the husk attack. She glanced back at Liara, who was working through the communication tower repairs as quickly as she could. "How's it going?"

"Almost there!" Liara called back. "Just keep them busy a little longer…"

Vega cackled to her side. "Shepard, you gotta get your head in this – I've outshot ya three to one!"

Shepard felt a small smile creep onto her face as she shouldered her rifle, aiming down the barrel. The crosshairs lined up and she pulled the trigger, relishing the control of the perfect shot. The husk went down like a sack of potatoes. She focused her breathing, falling into the long-familiar task of _breathe in, reload, aim, exhale, fire._ The task centered her, making her forget everything else.

"Done!" Liara exclaimed after five more minutes, pushing away from the tower and reaching for her automatic pistol. She took Shepard's place in firing while Shepard reached out to the Command station. "General Corinthus, do you read me? We have communication back up."

"Yes, Shepard, thank you," Corinthus responded, sounding releaved. "I will try to raise Palaven Command."

"Roger," Shepard breathed, side-stepping a husk as it flew through the air, caught in a singularity loop. "We'll stay here and help your men out. Call us when you have something."

Shepard crouched down, taking another deep breath and loaded a new round into her barrel. _Aim, exhale. _She thought, her breath fanning out as she brought the sights up to her eye. _Fire._

* * *

"Comms are up," one of the men called through the helmet links which were now operational again. "It's about time Command got it working! We've been blind out here!"

"Keep it tight," Garrus ordered. "Harvester – squad three, keep sights on that flying bastard. That's the last thing we need on our ass right now."

Garrus lined up a marauder in his sights, his teeth grinding as he pulled the trigger. Killing husks were one thing; the marauders were more difficult. It was harder to look at one and not see a fallen comrade, a turian brother or sister.

"Spirits, will it ever stop?" someone else spit out.

"Squad five, husks inbound," Garrus continued, not dignifying the other comment with a response.

"Vakarian, sir!" someone called. "Command is requesting you, sir! Alliance Navy is here and needs you to help locate Victus."

"Victus?" Garrus repeated. And then, after a pause, "Alliance? The Navy is here?" Hope began to bubble up. So, the humans were coming to help them! Who would have thought?

"Not a force, sir," the runner called back, sounding morose. "There's only three of them. They need to get Victus; he's the new Primarch. Something about a War Summit."

Garrus cursed heavily, turning from the front line. So, not only did they have no back up, but their Primarch was dead, and the Alliance needed to drag a new one away from the battle. "Keep formations tight, don't let any through," he ordered the men who had been around him. "Sector seven, tighten up your flank!" With a grumble and sigh, Garrus made his trek back toward the command base.

It took him the better part of ten minutes, but Garrus picked his way back to command. He almost didn't notice the figures that were standing with Corinthius as he drew close to the station.

"-don't give a damn who! I just need someone who can help us get the turian resources we need."

Garrus' heart seemed to stop for a moment. He did his best to stay calm as he stepped onto the platform. "I'm on it, Shepard. We'll get you a Primarch."

Shepard's eyes met his and he saw the same relief fill her face that must have been on his. "Garrus," she greeted, her tone a mix of more emotions that Garrus knew the words for. She stepped toward him and faltered, seeming to remember they were in the middle of a war zone. "I'm glad to see you're still among us," she acquiesced, reaching her hand out to shake his.

Gaarrus chuckled, taking her hand in the human handshake. "You know me. I'm harder to kill than all that." He placed his other hand over hers, holding it for a few moments longer than necessary. The smile that crossed her face was flawless as she pulled away. "I'm here advising," he continued. "I'm the closest thing they have to an expert on these damned things, so…"

Shepard bit her lower lip, trying to stifle a chuckle. "Garrus, meet Lieutenant James Vega. James, this is Garrus Vakarian. He's saved the galaxy with me… how many times now?"

Garrus laughed, voice flanging. "Well, I guess it would be two. Feels like two million. It's nice to meet you, Lieutenant," he added, reaching out to shake Vega's hand. The human male looked a little confused by the whole encounter, as if trying to puzzle out why his CO was smiling so widely.

"It's nice to see you, too, Liara. Looking as lovely as ever," Garrus added to the asari.

Liara looked embarrassed. "Stop, you'll make me blush. I'm glad you're okay, Garrus," she added more seriously.

Corinthus was watching this all with something like mild annoyance. Shepard and Garrus' romp on Palaven six months ago was widely gossiped about on the planet, and met with mixed reactions. Corinthus was hoping the two would keep it professional long enough to get the Primarch to safety. "Now that we're all acquainted…"

Garrus nodded. "Well, we should get moving. I can answer any of your questions while we get back to the Northern Crest. I was fighting with him there this morning."

Shepard nodded. "Let's move."

* * *

Disclaimer: Everyone who has followed along with this series knows the drill: I am going to be changing things (especially dialogue!) as I go along. Who wants to read the same thing they played, right? It will, for the most part, remain similar to what we are all used to, just with slight changes.

**For any first-time readers of this series** – I do suggest reading the previous three stories: "The Bucket List," "Once More, With Feeling," and "Homeward, Palaven Bound." It will make things a bit easier to follow along with. ::) (WOOHOO for Batarian Smiley!)

A lot of the story is going to be during down-time, other than a few key missions (Such as Priority: Palaven) that we have to touch on briefly. Hope you enjoyed the first chapter so far! I expect this one to be more romance-y than "Once More, With Feeling," but not quite as cutesy as "The Bucket List" and "Homeward, Palaven Bound." We've got a war to fight, after all!

Thanks all for the dedicated following. Love you all to bits!

Love love,

Eternity.


	2. What I Wouldn't Do

Disclaimer: I still don't own Mass Effect, or the character, or the plot. I also don't own the awesome title song, "What I Wouldn't Do." The song belongs to the beautiful and talented lady behind A Fine Frezy – check her out!

Read, Review and Enjoy, ducklings!

* * *

**Chapter 2**

**What I Wouldn't Do**

* * *

Sur'Kesh had been a disaster and a half. Shepard still wasn't sure if she could figure out the details of everything that happened. From the moment they had attempted to touch down on the secret base, thing had gotten complicated. Between Wrex nearly eating two salarians at the drop point and the hostile, pointed glares of the STG scientists, Shepard felt like she should have realized things were going to go from bad to worse.

And that they did – quickly. She had to roll her eyes at the memory, still frustrated about Cerberus attacking the base, the salarians within, and (most importantly) Eve. It could have easily turned into a massive tragedy – not to mention a death sentence for the entire galaxy – had Eve died.

Shepard made her evening rounds of the ship, popping her head in on everyone and making sure things were going smoothly. Chloe Michel, the most recent addition to the Normandy, seemed to be having a small temper tantrum when Shepard came to the Medical Bay.

"Doctor, everything alright?" Shepard asked from the doorway.

Michel turned, her green eyes widened in an expression similar to a child with her hand in the cookie jar. "Oh, Commander. I am so sorry, was I disturbing you?"

Shepard kept her smile in check, for no other reason than she didn't wish to upset the doctor. The younger woman always seemed a bit more sensitive than Shepard was comfortable with. "No, you weren't disturbing anyone. I just noticed flailing limbs when I was walking by and decided to come check it out."

A faint, rosy sheen came to the woman's cheeks. "Oh, that. I have been trying to clean up behind Mordin and it's getting increasingly difficult. I never knew a salarian could double as a hurricane," she murmured, rummaging through the mess on her desk.

Shepard stepped into the room to lean against the wall. "Did he finally go get some rest?"

"Mmhmm," Michel hummed, neatly arranging data pads into two piles – probably one for her and one for Mordin. "He said he would be in the crew quarters if you needed him. Eve is wandering the ship, as well. She said something about keeping Wrex on his toes?"

Shepard chuckled. "He's a bit of a mother hen when it comes to her."

"Understandable so, too," Michel murmured, swiveling in her chair to face Shepard. "Was there something else I could help you with?"

Shepard shook her head. "No, I just like to check in on everyone. Getting settled in?"

"When I can," she nodded. "I never realized working on a warship would be so different than the clinic. Not that I am complaining," she added quickly, pale green eyes widening. "I love being able to help, really help. And it's nice to be around… well," she broke off, looking embarrassed. "Anyway, I have lots of things to clean before Mordin comes back in."

"All so you can do it again tomorrow evening?"

Michel chuckled and nodded. "Good evening, Commander." Before Shepard could make it out the door, though, Michel called, "Oh, Commander! Garrus mentioned he was feeling overworked. Maybe you should give him a night off? Doctor's orders," she added with something suspiciously like ardour in her eyes.

Shepard raised an eyebrow but nodded. "Sure… I'll let him know." She stood outside of the medical bay for a few moments, more than a little confused by Michel's words. Garrus? Feeling overworked? Not only did she give most of her crew free reign, the turian went stir-crazy if he didn't have something to do at all moments.

Shepard said a quick hello and exchanged pleasantries with a few ensigns in the mess before turning toward the Main Battery. Time to figure out exactly what Chloe Michel was talking about.

When she entered the room, the first thing she noticed was how unbearably hot it was. Shepard would have turned around and walked back out if it weren't for her desire to talk with Garrus in private. Other than a few meals shared with other crew members, the two hadn't seen much of each other.

She heard Garrus' flanged voice from the back corner of the room. She poked her head around to the right catwalk, finding Garrus toward the front of the gun. He had dismantled pieces of, presumably, the gun, and had the mechanics strewn about him.

"-I'm seeing the same numbers," he was saying, his voice low. He glanced up and saw Shepard and pointed to his earpiece. "I know, sir, but we have to hold out until we can secure the alliance with the krogan."

Shepard sat down on the crate by the door, watching as Garrus fiddled with the metal pieces on the catwalk. He somehow managed to take all of those pieces and assemble them into… something. Shepard wasn't sure what it was, but she was sure it was now a useful item for their cannon.

"If anyone can do it, Shepard can. Try to get rest." Garrus disconnected from the call, letting out a hefty sigh. He got to his feet, setting the metal piece down and coming toward her. "Shepard. Just the person I wanted to see."

Shepard met his eyes and smiled. "Why, so you can tell me what a horrible CO I am and how I overwork you?"

Garrus chuckled, stopping just shy of her. "And why would I say such things?"

"Doctor Michel mentioned you were feeling overworked," Shepard said, unable to keep her smile from her face.

"Oh spirits, that woman," Garrus grumbled. "You know, I tell her I am busy because I'm too nice to ask her to stop stalking me through the ship. So what does she do? She goes to the captain of the ship and asks her to, what, give me some time off?"

Shepard hid her laughter behind a hand. "I'm sorry, Garrus, I didn't realize I was so tough on you. How about I make it up to you by having Michel bring you a plate of food? Maybe some grapes; she can hand-feed you while you sit on your throne and calibrate for fun."

"First off," Garrus began, his mandibles wiggling in amusement, "I don't know what grapes are. Secondly, I don't have a throne. And please, for all that you deem holy – don't let her in here. She will never leave."

Shepard chuckled, glancing down at the floor. "How is the Primarch?"

"As stressed and disheartened as anyone is, I suppose," Garrus replied, tone softer. "I don't know what to tell him. He looks to me for reassurance, and I don't have much to offer."

"Other than I work miracles," Shepard added.

"Right," he agreed. "But it's true. You're the only one I know who would have a chance at getting that alliance."

"Yeah," she sighed, getting to her feet. "I'll get it. It might take a lot of blood, sweat, tears and alcohol. Maybe a bit of gun pointing and some mildly veiled threats, but…"

Garrus reached out, his talons raking gently across the side of her face. "How are you?" he asked, tone dropping lower. "We haven't had a change to… talk…"

Shepard closed her eyes, leaning her face into his hand. "I'm tired," she admitted with a faint smile. "I haven't had a certain turian to make sure I'm sleeping enough."

He pulled her in closer, her body relaxing against the soft civilian tunic he wore. "Spirits, I've missed you," he whispered against her hair, one hand trailing along her spine and falling to the small of her back. "You're the only thing that made leaving Palaven bearable."

"I was so scared," she admitted, feeling the tears she had been holding back for the past six months blur her vision. "When we saw Palaven burning…"

"I'm here," he assured her, leaning down and brushing his mouth plates against her lips. Shepard felt herself melting into him. It had been so long, and so much had happened since they had been together. She had been worried that he would be too immersed with the war to still care. A silly sentiment, but one her heart created despite the fact.

Shepard pulled back, smiling. "We need to make up for six months of not being able to do that."

"And I am happy to oblige that," Garrus chuckled, a hand running through her hair. "You cut it... I was getting attached to all of that strange stuff on your head."

"It grows back," Shepard assured him with a smile. Standing on her tiptoes to secure another kiss, she asked, "What about Solana? Your mom and dad? Are they all still on Palaven?"

Garrus looked away and his expression told her everything before he even opened his mouth. "Mom died… two months ago."

"God, Garrus, I am so sorry," Shepard whispered, her hand cupping his mandible.

"It was better she… went… then. Peaceful. We were all there and…" his voice broke. When he began speaking again, his voice was flanging so heavily it was hard for Shepard to understand him. "It's better she left us then, before the Reapers. I would have never been able to forgive myself if I hadn't been there with her."

"Have you heard about Solana and your dad?" Shepard pressed gently, her hand caressing across the craggy scars of his right mandible.

"No," he admitted, "and it's been long enough to make me worry."

"They're both tough," Shepard murmured. "You'll hear from them."

"I hope you're right," he sighed, turning his attention back to the gun. "I really should get back to it. You'd think there'd be nothing left to do on the warfare suite and guns, but someone always manages to mess everything up in here."

"Just to keep you on your toes," Shepard teased gently, moving to the left catwalk. "Can I help?" At Garrus' confused look, she laughed. "Alright, I know I can't _actually_ help. I can stand here and try to look pretty, though. You know, for morale."

Garrus chuckled, moving back to the right catwalk and picking up his metal piece he had been working on. "Well then get over here and improve my morale, since you insist on overworking me."

Shepard laughed, moving around the massive cannon to join him on the other side of the room.

* * *

Garrus carried Shepard back to her room, not having the heart to wake her. He had worked well into the morning on upgrading the cannon and didn't notice when she finally nodded off on the supply crates in the corner. He had, however, noticed the dark circles under her eyes and heard the weariness in her voice. She had even admitted to not sleeping enough. So who was he to ruin the first bit of real rest she was getting?

As he put her down on the bed and covered her with her soft duvet, her eyes fluttered open. "Garrus?"

"I'm here," he said quickly, taking one of her hands in his. "Sorry I kept you down there for so long."

"Stay with me?" she asked, her eyes already closing.

Garrus smiled, moving to the other side of the bed. He curled up behind her, pulling her close to him. "Sleep well, Shepard."

The only response was a soft snore.

* * *

Author's Note:

A little bit lighter of a chapter. Leave me some thoughts and comments – what was your personal favorite mission from ME3? What characters are you really looking forward to seeing?

Love love,

E.


	3. Lonelily

**Disclaimer: I don't own it - especially not the beautiful song, "Lonelily," by Damien Rice. Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

**Lonelily**

* * *

Shepard was too stunned to think for a moment. "Jack?" The name fell from her lips without her even meaning for it to.

The woman in front of her, looking so different than she had just seven months ago, was just as flabbergasted. "Shepard? What the hell-"

"Maybe now isn't the best time for this little reunion?" Liara suggested as the door to the left slid open, an Atlas grappling to get through the doorway. The asari had her gun pointed at the thing, but did not fire. "Perhaps the children should go upstairs?"

"Shit," Jack cursed heavily, turning her attention to the rag-tag group of teenagers with her. "Get upstairs, get your shields up. Shepard-"

"Go with them," Shepard bade, moving for cover behind a pillar, "we've got you covered."

Jack's eyes said what the biotic never would; the thankfulness there was immense as she turned and sprinted after the kids, lobbing an overload toward the Atlas.

The Atlas pilot had finally caught sight of the ground and was bringing its massive missile arm up for a strike. Shepard bolted from behind cover, switching from her sniper to her assault rifle. She let off a volley of shots, drawing its attention. The missile came whistling toward her; she barely managed to flatten herself against the ground before the projectile hit the back wall with a loud bang.

Liara was ducking in and out of cover to the side of the Atlas, causing a distraction – a very annoying distraction, as every other time she emerged she tossed another biotic at the mech. Garrus was to the right, aiming down the barrel to find the sweet spot on the glass visor. Bust that thing, kill the pilot, and you have a semi-intact mech at your disposal. Shepard grinned at the idea. What she wouldn't give to get behind one of those. If only there were more enemies to make it worthwhile…

"Engineers!" Liara cried from her corner, disappearing behind a stone divider. Sure enough, Shepard spotted the three engineers that had come in for back up. Two were setting up turrets, the other one covering their work. A few ground grunts were hovering around them, as well, just waiting to pull the trigger.

"Shepard," Garrus growled over the comm, "Don't do it."

Shepard grinned. She knew exactly what he was warning her not to do. Even so…

Shepard switched to her sniper rifle again, lining up her shot on the mech. She felt a few of its high calibers knock against her shoulder and flinched at the bruising pain of their impact. Luckily her shield was reinforced; it would take a little more than a few bullets to take it down.

She let out a breath and plunged the trigger, the shot hitting the mech's glass visor just perfectly. The glass shattered and the pilot spent a few moments clawing anxiously at himself, trying to get the glass off.

Shepard reloaded, aimed, and pulled the trigger. The pilot's head exploded into a mess of red.

"Shepard," Garrus began.

"Cover me!" Shepard called, tossing herself over the partition she had been ducking behind. She could hear Liara's cry of alarm, as well as Garrus' annoyance, as she raced toward the mech. While Garrus and Liara had managed to take out almost everyone, two engineers and the turrets were still live.

The turrets swiveled toward Shepard's movement, following her as she dashed toward the mech. They began unloading bullets and Shepard felt her shield weakening as each found its mark. Shepard vaulted into the Atlas just as she felt her shield snap, drained. She tossed the dead, decapitated body of the Cerberus troop out of the suit, panting. Her shield was slowly coming back online, making a pathetic whirring noise as it attempted to regain its former solidity.

Shepard whirled the suit around as quickly as she could and nudged it forward. The mech was certainly not the easiest piece of machinery to operate, but Shepard had some training in heavy suits back in her recruitment days. The Atlas might be a different model, she mused, but it drives pretty much the same.

She shot a rocket at one of the remaining engineers, catching one of them head-on. When the dust cleared, neither engineer nor turrets were left standing.

"What in the hell were you thinking, Shepard?" Garrus chided over the link. "We could have easily taken them out from cover!"

Shepard hopped out of the suit, feeling her lips twitch into a smirk. "Come on, Garrus, lighten up. I wasn't in any danger-"

"Well, well, well," Jack's voice filtered down from the top floor. "Kahlee said she was calling in for backup. Who woulda thought Queen Goodie-Goodie would be there to answer our call?" She hopped over the railing, landing gracefully on the ground floor. Glancing back up at the kids, she said, "Grab some juice and energy bars. We gotta get the fu… have to leave soon," she finished lamely.

"Jack, you were also so good with words," Shepard grinned, walking toward the biotic. She noticed, as she drew closer, that Jack was no longer grinning. In fact, she looked pissed. Her brown eyes were narrowed to near slits. "Jack, what-"

Jack lashed out, faster than a snake. Her fist connected squarely with Shepard's jaw, making her stumble back a few paces. Shepard grabbed her jaw right as Garrus draw closer, his hand on his gun. "What the hell-" he began.

"That was for not listening to me about Cerberus!" Jack hissed. "I told you! Didn't I tell you? They can't be trusted, I said. But you go along with them anyway. They'll sell us all down the river, I said. But you went ahead and took that fu… damn risk, didn't you?"

"You did tell me," Shepard agreed, moving her lower jaw to make sure it wasn't out of alignment. "I wish you could have just stuck to an 'I told you so' instead of decking me, though."

"You deserve to have a good decking now and again," Jack muttered, but her lips were tilting into a faint smile. "It's about time you showed up, too. Took you long enough. Did you stop for some lattes on the way in?"

"Still as sweet as ever," Garrus commented, his hand hovering over Shepard's back, as if ready to catch her in case she was hit again.

"Bite me, Garrus," Jack responded, rising to the taunt. "Better yet, bite her. She's probably into that freaky shit."

Liara cleared her throat, her gaze flitting from Shepard to Jack. Shepard smiled gently at Liara. "Liara, this is Jack. She likes to act tough, but she's really a softy on the inside." Shepard moved back before Jack could get any ideas about another right hook. "Jack, this is Liara. She's-"

"New Shadow Broker, I know," Jack nodded. "She came back to the Normandy that one time for dinner or some shit."

The children above them were all murmuring, their voices full of something like excitement. Finally, one of them, a girl, called down, "Hey Teach, is that really _Commander Shepard_? You know Commander Shepard?"

Jack rolled her eyes. "Drink your juice, Rodriguez!"

"I do not mean to seem rude," Liara began, "but you do not seem like the type to be teaching children."

Jack shrugged. "I know, right? The Alliance offered me the gig, probably trying to keep me out of trouble. I guess I am dependable now." She let out a hefty sigh, staring toward the ceiling as if it were a heavy burden.

Shepard grinned. "I'm proud of you. It's obvious you care about them."

"Yeah," Jack grumbled, rubbing the back of her neck. "I blame you and all of that team building shit."

* * *

Shepard sat at the table across from Jack, unable to keep a smile from her face.

Jack looked annoyed, "What, Shepard? You never get that smiley. Please tell me you didn't just get laid, I do not want to hear that shit."

Shepard shook her head. "I'm glad to see you doing so well," Shepard said simply.

"So you keep saying," Jack grumbled. "We won't be here for long, just until Hackett's fleet can intercept us."

"And it's nice having the kids here on the ship," Shepard continued, ignoring her last comment. One of Hackett's armada ships would be rendezvousing with the Normandy near the Citadel. "I never realized how much I missed kids until now. Did I tell you I used to help out at the Alliance daycare back when I was in basic training?"

Jack scoffed. "Why would you have ever told me that? We weren't exactly buds back then."

"I thought we were."

Jack narrowed her eyes, as if trying to determine if Shepard was pulling her leg. "Well. We weren't. Not really."

"And now?" Shepard pressed.

Jack made a noise of exasperation in the back of her throat. "You are so infuriatingly talkative. You remind me of a shrink. Or Kahlee."

Shepard grinned. "I like Kahlee."

"Yeah," Jack sighed, "me too." The women sat in silence for a while, Jack glancing around the shockingly empty mess hall. "Remember that last supper we had before we hit the Collector's base?"

"Do I ever," Shepard chuckled. "I'm shocked we were able to move after all of that food. I thought I'd be rolling myself off the Normady in a wheelbarrow."

Jack was chuckling. "I... Sometimes I miss it. Being here with all of you." She looked uncomfortable, her gaze fixated on the table. "Not so much the people, or even the constant missions. I just miss... the group. Being a part of something. I didn't have to be looked up to then. I could just... be."

"It gets lonely being the one everyone looks to for guidance," Shepard agreed, her tone soft. "But on the up side, you have your kids. Are they worth a little loneliness?"

"Hell yes," she said quickly, tone firm. "I would do anything, anything for them."

"Well, then I suppose being a little lonely is a decent price to pay for having them," Shepard said.

Jack looked off into the distance, toward the Main Battery. "Do you still get lonely? Even with Garrus?"

"Sure," Shepard replied, leaning back in her chair. "And sometimes I like the loneliness. It reminds me of all of the things and people I miss, and cherish. It remind me who I fight for."

Jack was silent for a few moments before she finally laughed. "Shepard, you talk too much." She got to her feet, pointing her thumb toward the lounge. "That massive marine of yours was saying something about poker and tequila. Wanna?"

Shepard laughed, getting to her feet. "Lead the way, Teach."

* * *

Author's Note:

Thanks to all the reviewers! This chapter is dedicated to a few of you who mentioned Jack's mission was your favorite – here is the Psychotic Biotic showing a bit of a softer side. ::)

Another reader and I were discussing the endings, and how we both feel like the Synthesis option is by far the best out of the lot. What are your thoughts? Your favorite ending?

Love love,

E.


	4. Grasses Grow

Disclaimer: I don't own the song, "Untitled (Grasses Grow)," performed by A Fine Frenzy. (For anyone interested in listening to the song – it is impossible to find on YouTube. Try checking it out on Spotify!) Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 4**

**Grasses Grow**

* * *

Shepard popped another anti-rad tablet, shaking off the feeling of her skin crawling. Her suit was supposedly resistant to most toxic environments, but Shepard wasn't taking that kind of risk. The last thing she needed was radiation poisoning. "You sure these work, Mordin?"

Mordin looked slightly insulted from where he was checking Eve's vitals. "Of course sure. Made especially for Tuchanka mission. Potassium Iodide maxes out thyroid. Unable to intake contaminated iodine. Still, exercise precaution. Skin contaminate not blocked."

"Shepard, you ready?" Wrex grunted roughly from where he stood near the door.

Shepard glanced over her shoulder, still reeling from the medical explanation. "Yeah. Good to go."

"Good," he continued gruffly. "Time to set things right."

The med bay door swooshed open and Liara popped her head in. "Shepard," she called in, her soft voice tinged with something like annoyance. "The Dalatrass put an emergency vid call in. She says she needs to speak with you immediately. Are we ready to go once you take your call?"

Shepard nodded, checking the desire to roll her eyes. "Yeah. Everyone finish getting suited up and I'll meet you all at the drop ship." She breezed past Wrex and Liara and made her way to the elevator. Garrus was standing there, already in his armor. He held his helmet under one arm, his sniper and assault rifle slung over his back.

"Ready?" he asked, sensing her jitteriness.

"Everyone keeps asking me that," Shepard chuckled, running a hand through her hair. "Yeah, I'm just… this is big, you know? Ending the genophage."

"No kidding. Do you think they're ready to have full control of their reproduction again?"

Shepard glanced back toward the medical bay and kept silent. The elevator finally showed up and the two entered. Shepard punched the CIC deck, allowing the doors to close before shaking her head. "Honestly? No. I think this is a horrible idea. The krogan are hardly extinct, even though their numbers are far less than the rest of the galactic races." Shepard sighed, rubbing her face. "I honestly… God, if the wrong krogan takes over after Wrex? We're going to be in some serious trouble. You can't tell me the vast majority of them aren't looking for retribution."

"So why are we doing this?"

Shepard met Garrus' eyes, thankful to see he wasn't being judgmental. He was sincerely curious. "For Palaven," Shepard admitted. "And Earth. Humans can't do this without the turians, and-"

"The turians can't do this without the krogan," Garrus nodded, his mandibles clicking against his face plates. "Ruthless calculus."

Shepard's eyelashes fluttered against her cheeks as she sighed. "And here I thought I could scrape by with my integrity intact."

The elevator doors slid open and Shepard got out. "I have a call from the dalatrass. I'll see you down in the drop ship?"

Garrus nodded, pressing the shuttle bay button. "Be fast. I don't want Wrex punching a hole in the deck if he thinks we're wasting time."

Shepard smiled before moving toward the war room. She connected to the line that was flashing impatiently at the central vid comm station. "Dalatrass, to what do I owe-"

"Shepard, I hear you are attempting to go through with your foolish plan of ending the genophage?" Without waiting for a response, she continued, "I take it Mordin has thought of using the Shroud, too."

"Are you spying on us?" Shepard asked, brows knitting together.

"Using common sense is hardly spying, Shepard," she chided. "You can't think this is a good idea, Commander. I know you have a misguided moral sense of obligation to your friend, the Urdnot. But do not let this happen. The krogan will begin spawning, unchecked. That planet of theirs is a cesspool and cannot even support the numbers they have now, let along millions of babies. And there _will_ be millions of babies, Shepard. The galaxy will be overrun and we will be forced into another war when they decide to take over another planet!"

Shepard felt her tongue freeze inside of her mouth. She couldn't deny that she had worried about everything the Dalatrass was saying now. Shepard shared those same fears. "We need their help," Shepard insisted, the words seeming lame and hollow even to her own ears.

"And you will get it," the Dalatrass murmured, her tone dropping to a conspiratorial low. "Years ago, the STG sabotaged the Shroud facility to stop this exact thing from happening. I have every faith in Mordin and his ability to spot this defect and repair it. If he doesn't, though…"

"Then the cure is rendered useless," Shepard finished.

"Precisely," the Dalatrass breathed. "No one will ever know the difference. Let Urdnot Wrex believe you have fulfilled your promise and you will have your men."

Shepard ran it through her head before murmuring, "No. Mordin would never agree to this."

"You can find a way to deal with him, Shepard," she continued. "Mordin believes in you. Trusts you. If you do this, we can supply our very best scientists to help with the Crucible, as well as our fleets. This would be a win-win for you. The choice is yours."

The Dalatrass' face fizzled out and Shepard was left in the cold comm room, her heart feeling like it was caught in a vice. Shepard turned, only to find EDI standing before her.

"Commander?" EDI began, her silver eyes seeming…curious. "What do you plan to do?"

Shepard swallowed. So much for a secret deal. "I… I don't really know yet."

EDI was silent for a moment before murmuring, "If my calculations are to be trusted, what the Dalatrass says is true. Another war is very probable if the krogan remain as combative and single-minded as they have been in the past."

"But what about Eve?" Shepard murmured. "She's not like them. She might be able to change them."

EDI regarded her. "Change a hatred that has lasted hundreds of years? The choice is yours, Shepard. Either way, we will have the krogan's help."

"I know," she whispered, more to herself than to EDI.

* * *

"Mordin! Is the cure ready?" Shepard called, running into the Shroud base. The place was nearly in pieces, the colossal building quaking from the aftermath of the Reaper Destroyer and thresher maw fight.

Mordin barely glanced up from where he was inputting data. "Yes. Dispersal in two minutes. Eve and Wrex in vehicle. Eve stressed, trauma high. Headed to safety now."

"Good," Shepard breathed, glancing around as the building around them shuddered. A large panel of the ceiling broke off, flying past and crashing into a nearby console. "Damnit!" Shepard cursed, covering her face. "Mordin, we have to get out of here."

"Negative," Mordin replied, still typing. "Control room at top of tower. Must go up. Problem with overheating. Fan malfunction most likely. Cannot risk cure viability." He pulled away from the console, moving toward the elevator.

Shepard's heart hammered in her chest. She hadn't told him. She hadn't told him about the sabotage. She had hoped he wouldn't notice; she had hoped so many different things would happen.

"Mordin, it's too dangerous," Shepard shouted over the roar of groaning metal. "This place is going to come down on top of us! We need to get out!"

"No," Mordin replied, projecting his voice over the increase of falling debris. "Temperature could void cure potency. Must go up. Only way."

Shepard looked down at her hands. They had begun to shake, the fingers curling in on themselves tightly. Her vocal chords felt like jelly as she murmured, "Mordin… you're not going up there."

The words were firm, but tinged with regret. Mordin seemed to catch that and paused. "Not concerned for me. Concerned with something I will find." He turned, large eyes meeting Shepard's. "Sabotage. But whose?" He was silent for a few moments before whispering, "Ah."

"Mordin-"

"Why, Shepard?" The tone in his voice was something Shepard had never heard before. Disgust. "That desperate for Dalatrass' aide? That scared of the krogan?" He shook his head, turning around and walking toward the elevator.

Shepard followed behind, reaching out to grab his arm. "Every time we've talked about this in the past, _you stood up for the genophage! _Hell, I had to talk you into saving Maelon's data! What the fuck makes you think this is the right thing to do n-"

"I made a mistake!" he roared, turning on her sharply. Shepard stumbled back, eyes widened. "I focused on the big picture. Big picture made up of too many little pictures. Little variables. Impossible to extrapolate. Can't ignore the new data. Can't pretend that this is right. My mistake, my cure, my responsibility."

He turned back to the elevator, sighing. "Must go."

Shepard pulled her pistol, feeling the tears building on her lashes. "Mordin. Please. Walk away." It was the same pistol Mordin had given her when they first met… an offering of good will.

"Had to be me," Mordin murmured and began walking toward the elevator again. He stepped inside, eyes meeting Shepard's. Shepard's lower lip trembled as she holstered the gun, shaking her head. She couldn't do it. She couldn't pull the trigger.

"Someone else might have gotten it wrong," Mordin finished. There was something like pity on his face. "Go, Shepard."

Shepard turned away as the elevator doors closed. She felt the tears falling down her cheeks, making wet tracks. She pulled her helmet on, only to be bombarded with Garrus' voice. "-copy? Shepard? Get the hell out of there, it's coming down!"

"I'm on my way," Shepard forced out, her voice thick. "Get the cars ready."

* * *

Shepard had been holed up in her room for the better part of two days. Garrus knew better than to intrude on her when she was in a mood like this, even though there was nothing he would rather do.

"Sometimes ever the Commander needs a break," Joker said on the second night of Shepard's disappearing act. "Mordin sacrificed himself for the krogan. He and Shepard… well they weren't exactly close, but he was part of the team. He was one of us."

Garrus nodded, watching the stars. "This entire war has been tough on all of us. Especially her. I just wish she would talk to me."

Joker looked like he wanted to say more, but seemed to be struggling with it. "When Ash died… I never told her how I felt. Not really. I always found an excuse not to say something. She was either too busy, being distant, or…." He broke off for a moment. "I guess… I guess all I am trying to say is that… we could die, you know? At any time. Don't wait for her to say something. If you need to talk to her, then talk to her. Don't wait on her to make the first move."

Garrus glanced over at the flight lieutenant. It was obvious the human was uncomfortable with the conversation. Even so, Garrus felt a bit better at his advice. "You know," he began slowly, "Ash talked about you a lot down in the belly of the SR-1."

Joker smiled, the expression sad. "Yeah. I know."

Garrus stood. "Thanks… for the talk."

"Yep," Joker said simply. As Garrus walked away, he thought he caught the hint of a tremor in the pilot's voice as he added, "Just go up there and talk her down from her ledge. We'll be at the Citadel by 0900 tomorrow. I'm sure Udina will want her at her best when briefing time comes."

Garrus made his way to the elevator, taking it up to the captain's cabin. He knocked twice on the door, waiting to hear something from Shepard. After a few moments of hearing nothing, he knocked again. "Shepard?"

Nothing.

Garrus pressed his hand to the control panel on the door. Shepard had coded it to allow him access at any time, even if the door was locked. The door processed his three fingers for a few moments before sliding open with a whirring noise.

Shepard was sitting at her terminal, a pair of bright pink ear plugs in her ears. Her fingers were flying across the keys, replying to an extranet message, from the looks of it. Garrus stood quietly, not wanting to startle her out of her flow.

It only took a few minutes for her to finish the message and send it. When she did, she let out a shuddering breath, pulling the ear plugs out.

"Shepard," Garrus began gently.

"Shit!" she cursed, spinning around in her chair. "Christ, Garrus, you knocked fifteen years off of my life," she murmured, clutching her chest. "Try knocking next time."

"I did," he chuckled. "Twice."

Shepard smiled weakly. "Sorry. I've just been so wired after…" she glanced back at her terminal. "After Tuchanka."

"Do you want to talk?" he offered.

When Shepard looked up, there were tears glistening in her eyes. "I killed him, Garrus," she whispered. "I killed Mordin."

Garrus felt his heart slow, confusion seeming to clog his body. "What do you mean?"

"I lied to everyone," she groaned, the tears spilling down her cheeks now. "I made a deal with the Dalatrass. I was going to sabotage the cure. The krogan – God, Garrus, I don't think they're ready! Could never be ready, not for that kind of freedom. There is so much hatred… and then Mordin found out and… and he went up to cure it anyway. Even though he knew he wouldn't… he wouldn't…"

Garrus went to her, pulling her into his arms. "Shepard, you did what you thought was right."

"But it got him killed," she whispered. "I got Mordin killed because I felt like playing God."

"Shepard, I would have done the same thing," Garrus murmured, running his face plates along the top of her head. "Anyone would see the potential threat curing the genophage presents. Anyone would try to stop it if they could. You made your choice. And so did Mordin."

Shepard nodded, her tears drying on Garrus' tunic. "It doesn't make this feel any better."

Garrus pulled Shepard toward her bed, lying her down. "Rest," he said softly. "You'll feel better in the morning."

Shepard's eyes closed and she drifted into an uneasy sleep, haunted by shadowy figures and the whispers of her dead crewmen.

* * *

Author's Note:

The wear and tear is beginning to affect Shepard. Who expected her to go the Renegade route here? I couldn't bring her to pull the trigger, though. That always seemed too cruel.

How did your Shepards handle this scene, and how do you personally feel about curing the genophage? Let me know in the reviews!

Love love,

E.


	5. Your Rocky Spine

Disclaimer: I don't own Mass Effect, or this song: "Your Rocky Spine," by Great Lake Swimmers. Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 6**

**Your Rocky Spine**

* * *

Shepard reached out, taking one of Thane's hands in hers. The skin was dry and smooth but extremely warm to the touch. "How much longer do you have?" She asked gently.

Thane's lips tilted into a faint smile. "I have as much time as the Goddesses allow," he said simply before chuckling. "But that is not the answer you require, so I will tell you this… my doctors gave me a few weeks to live. That was seven months ago."

Shepard tried to smile but found the expression unconvincing, even to herself. "You could come back with us. I have a nice dry Life Support room for you. Or anywhere you're comfortable."

_"Siha,"_ Thane murmured, shaking his head. "I am of no use to you. I would rather spend my last days, however frequent they may be, here with my son and Kasumi."

Shepard nodded, squeezing his hand. "I wish nothing but the best for you, Thane. You have been a good companion and an even better friend."

Thane stood, bringing Shepard along with him. He pulled her into his embrace, which was still strong. "And I, you. Joining your crew was the most meaning my life has ever had."

Shepard pulled away, not even bothering to wipe away the tears on her cheeks. "Thank you."

"Thank you, Shepard. Go with grace."

Shepard nodded before moving further into the hospital, lost amid the hustle and bustle. She did her best to keep herself together while her heart clenched inside of her chest. First Mordin, now Thane. She tried to shake the feeling of mortality from her limbs as she passed into the patient wing.

She made her way into the first room on her right, smiling to see Kaidan up and on his feet. "Hey you," she said, trying to infuse her voice with cheer. She leaned against the door jam, much to the automatic door's displeasure. "Ready to be busted out?"

Kaidan turned, no sign of the bruising he had on his trip into the hospital. "Shepard! Hey, they're letting me go today. About time, right?" he chuckled. "How have things been on the Normandy?"

Shepard rolled her eyes. "Alenko, you dog, quit trying to talk about the Normandy. I heard you made a decision about being a Spectre?" She grinned, actually feeling it this time. "Congratulations. I am so proud of you."

Kaidan was actually flushed at the praise. "Well, it seemed like a no brainer after a while. I mean, hell, if it means helping the galaxy, of course I should do it." He was looking down at his hands, almost as if trying to think of something to say. "Um… would you have lunch with me?"

Shepard nodded. "Sure, I've got nothing but time. When and where?"

"There's this little café in the Presidium. They supposedly still have steak."

Shepard nodded. "Apollo's. Sure, I'll meet you there around noon?"

Kaidan nodded, seeming surprised. "Yeah. Yeah, I'd like that."

* * *

Shepard had been receiving pings all day from friends and co-workers, requesting her presence at one spot or another. She had just finished meeting up with Liara about a possible ally in Barla Von when another ping came in.

_Vakarian, Garrus: Shepard, life or death question- silver or yellow?_

Shepard raised an eyebrow at the message and had to chuckle to herself_. Depends_, she replied, _what are you thinking about shooting? If it's between white bunnies and yellow wasps, go for the wasps_.

_Vakarian, Garrus: Your humor is astounding, although it is a bit lost on me, as I don't know what bunnies are. Not shooting, just curious which colors you like best._

Shepard felt more than a little confused as she pondered the question while making her way through the Presidium and toward Apollo's. Silver or yellow? Shepard made a face, still trying to puzzle it out. When she sat down at a secluded table on the Apollo's balcony, she finally typed a response.

_In my opinion, they both suck. Black or blue are the best colors; they go with everything. And I like pink, but don't you dare tell anyone or I will be forced to feed you to a group of ravenous varren._

The response was swift.

_Vakarian, Garrus: Hmm… that might just be worth it_.

Shepard chuckled, closing out her omni-tool right as Kaidan came to join her. "Hey," he greeted with a grin, lowering himself across from her. "Had a chance to look at the menu?"

Shepard shook her head. "Not yet, but I did notice quite a few disgusting sounding microbrews on their sandwich board. Pick your poison – I'm buying."

Kaidan chuckled, flicking through the data pad menu. "Alright then. I might as well pick the most expensive ones."

* * *

After their lunch, the pair sat and talked for a few hours, reminiscing and catching up on the past two and a half years. Drinks were brought and empty glasses carried away from their table over and over, until finally the pair stood.

"It's been nice. Doing this," Kaidan grinned, suddenly looking a little abashed. "I hope Garrus won't mind I kept you so long."

Shepard glanced down at the gleaming Presidium floor, swallowing. "Kaidan-"

"I'm not trying to be a dick, I swear," he interrupted with an embarrassed chuckle. "Seriously. I'm glad for you two. Confused by it, but glad." He nodded, more to himself than her. "We all need someone to look after, and to look after us. Especially now."

Shepard reached out, patting his shoulder. "Come have drinks with the crew. We'll all be over at Purgatory tonight."

Kaidan smiled. "Sure. I'd like that." He shook Shepard's hand before giving her a quick hug. "See you later, then, Commander."

"See you later," she returned, watching as he walked away.

"About time," a detached voice breathed behind Shepard. She turned quickly, only to come face-to-face with Miranda, who was sitting at a nearby table. She wore a simple tank top and tight leggings, large sunglasses obstructing most of her face. "I thought he'd never stop trying to get into your pants."

"Miss Lawson," Shepard greeted with a smile. "Drink?"

"You've had enough of those," he woman chuckled hesitantly, glancing around. "I have an apartment not far. Would you mind if we spoke in private?"

Shepard acquiesced, following the dark haired ex-Cerberus to her apartment. The studio was warm and bright, but mostly barren. Miranda sat on the bed, tossing her sunglasses into the corner and sinking her head into her hands. "Shepard, I need help."

"What's happened?" Shepard asked, coming to sit beside her. "Are you alright?"

"It's not me," she groaned. "If it was me, I would just suck it up, be strong like I always have. It's Oriana."

"What happened?" Shepard repeated.

"I don't know details," Miranda said quickly, getting to her feet and beginning to pace. "She disappeared without a trace. Her family is beside themselves trying to find her."

"I thought we got her to safety," Shepard began, tone laced with confusion.

"I thought so, too," Miranda sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I need resources, Shepard. I need to find out what has been happening while I've been flying under the radar. I can't-" she broke off, her voice faltering. "I can't let anything happen to her, Shepard. I will do _anything_ to keep her safe."

"I know, and you have my access," Shepard nodded, looking saddened. "I'll run by the Spectre office and get you an access code. Just…" she broke off for a moment. "Be careful."

"I will," Miranda agreed quickly. "Thank you, Shepard."

Shepard nodded, getting to her feet. "Call me or ping me if you need anything, okay? Don't wait until you're caught between crosshairs."

Miranda nodded, looking like a lost child. "I will."

Shepard knew she wouldn't. It would be a cold day in Hell when that woman looked for assistance with Shepard before trying every other option. Shepard shook her head as she left, feeling the pressure weighing around her neck like an albatross.

* * *

It was 1900 hours before Garrus finally caught up to Shepard. "Fancy running into you here," he murmured, brushing his lip plates against her forehead. "What's wrong?"

Shepard shrugged, looking weary. "Just tired. I'm not really in the mood for dancing and boozing, believe it or not."

Garrus chuckled, pulling her into his grasp. Shepard curled herself into his arms, pressing her face to the curve of his cowl. "What do you say we ditch this place and go back to the Normandy? I still remember a few of those human recipes Solana and I dug up for you."

Shepard hummed in appreciation. "Those cookies you guys made were divine."

"Mmhmm," Garrus continued, rubbing a hand over her back. "And then we can have wine and make love," he continued, leaning down to nip the crest of her ear gently. "I have a surprise for you, too."

"Get a room!"

Shepard turned to be met with a smirking Jack. Kaidan and Liara were in tow, both of them looking a little embarrassed to be a part of this. "Jack, you always show up right when least expected."

Jack shrugged, pointing a thumb to her followers. "I picked up a few of your buddies on the docks. Said something about drinks being on you?"

Shepard met Garrus' eyes and offered him a pitiful look. "Yep, first round is mine," Shepard sighed, waving her arm toward the door. "Let's get the drink on."

* * *

Garrus spent most of the night watching Shepard be tugged out onto the dance floor by Jack or Traynor, only to come back and be coaxed into a drinking contest with Kaidan, or a poker tournament with Vega. He could tell she was having fun, but something about her still seemed…off. She smiled, but there was a glimmer of something in her eyes, something that didn't used to be there.

Garrus knew the look of guilt when he saw it. He had seen it in the mirror for two years after Shepard died, as well as after his squad had been murdered. Shepard was beating herself up from the inside out, all because of Tuchanka.

He had been surprised when Shepard told him the gory details. He had honestly never thought Shepard had the fire within her to lie to a friend and potentially bring about the end of an entire race. But he understood why she had done it, and spirits knew Garrus was the last person alive who could judge. He had lied and killed more than was necessary.

As the night turned into morning, Garrus finally stood and murmured, "I think the Commander is looking a little green."

"No kidding," Jack exclaimed, downing another shot of something James called Jaeger. The two had split three bottles so far and showed no signs of stopping. "Get that lightweight to bed!"

Shepard smiled and waved a goodnight to the table, allowing Garrus to lead her out of the packed club. Shepard stumbled a few times, but was otherwise completely lucid on the trip back to the Normandy.

"How do you feel?" Garrus asked as they walked through the CIC.

Shepard shrugged. "Hungover. Tired. Depressed," she admitted, her voice shaking.

"Drinking wasn't the best idea," Garrus chided gently.

"No shit," Shepard chuckled as they passed into the elevator. "But the crew needed to see that. See us all together, happy, carefree…"

Garrus didn't say anything until he had Shepard in her room and was helping her undress. She lurched into the bathroom and stood under the shower, letting the water fall down her body. Garrus sat on the toilet, watching her.

Shepard stood under the spray for a few minutes before sitting down on the linoleum, the water pounding down on her back. She wrapped her arms around her knees, watching Garrus with her bright eyes. "I hate myself."

"No you don't," he argued gently.

"I do," she insisted. "I hate myself because I feel like I can't do anything right anymore. Everything leading up to this point… it was me kicking ass and taking names. And now? Now I am a mess. I am fucking everything up; I am lying to my friends, deceiving them, plotting how to keep the krogans sterile…" She closed her eyes. "What happened to me?"

Garrus went to her, not caring if his clothes got wet. He wrapped her into an embrace, murmuring gently against her wet hair, "Shepard, this war is a beast. We're all going to make choices we don't want to make. You made the best you could out of a bad situation."

"I don't need you to coddle me, Garrus," she whispered.

"I am not coddling you," Garrus replied. "I am telling you that this is just the beginning. Shepard, if you let this destroy you… then we're all doomed."

Shepard pushed him away, suddenly shaking with rage. She got to her feet, her fists clenched. "What the hell do you know about it?" she demanded. "You don't have to make these choices. None of you have to!"

Garrus stood, as well, stepping closer to her. "That's right," he challenged, voice dropping lower. Her voice was flanging and her could feel his fringe tingling with the heat of anger. "We don't have to. But you do. And you can't go falling to pieces every second of the damned day because you don't like it."

"Fuck you!" she yelled, eyes swimming in angry tears. Shepard reached out to shove him away from her, but Garrus grabbed her wrists, forcing them against the wall. His body pinned her to the tile, his nose just inches from hers.

"Don't tempt me, Shepard," he breathed huskily. The anger inside him had shifted and let out the animalistic side that all turians were too polite to speak of in public.

Shepard's eyes were swimming with something else now. With a sudden ferocity, she broke free of his grip. Her mouth pressed against his, her right leg worming its way over his hip, hands tearing at his wet tunic. The soaked fabric fell apart like tissue and Shepard threw it to the side, mouth hungrily tracing down his neck.

Garrus nipped her neck, relishing the sharp moan she let out. Her fingers went to the soft spot just below his fringe, massaging. Garrus grabbed Shepard, hefting her up to straddle his waist, and moved her to the countertop, not even bothering to turn the shower off.

* * *

It was six in the morning and Shepard was finally and fitfully asleep. _Even better_, Garrus mused as he ran a talon across her tanned arm, _she hasn't tried moping._ Garrus had felt bad about being forceful with her, but he had a feeling that was the only way to get through to her.

_And the sex was nice, too_, he mused to himself.

Garrus silently slipped out of bed, going to where he had abandoned his wet pants in the bathroom. He rifled through the pockets for a moment, finally producing the item he had been looking for. He took it back to the bed with him, opening the small box.

A slender band sat amid the satin inside. The band was startling black with a single light blue sapphire nestled in the middle. Doing his best to remember the human custom, he took her left hand and slid the ring onto the finger just left of the middle.

Shepard stirred, blinking blearily at him. "What's going on?" she asked sleepily.

Garrus held her hand up in front of her, murmuring, "What do you think? Good colors?"

Shepard was silent for a long while before turning startled eyes onto him. She wasn't smiling, which made his heart lurch. "Garrus… is this…?"

He chuckled, hoping she didn't notice the way his vocals shook. Did he just make the biggest mistake of his life? "It is… if you'll have me."

Shepard stared at him silently before a wide grin spread over her face. "Well, Garrus Vakarian. I never took you for the marrying type."

"Me either," he admitted with a laugh, her smile killing all of the worry he had felt in an instant. Voice flanging, he continued, "Especially since I didn't even know about the custom for more than half of my life."

Shepard chuckled. "Well… once these damned Reapers are gone, I say we have the biggest wedding Palaven has ever seen."

"The only wedding," he correctly patiently.

"Tomato, tom_ato_." Shepard leaned back into his arms, her hand stretched out in front of her. She looked at the ring from all sides before nodding appreciatively. "Good colors," she nodded, her voice choked. "You did good, Vakarian."

"I know," he whispered, kissing her neck gently. "Somehow I got really lucky."

* * *

Author's Note:

:D A little bit lighter in comparision to our last chapter - leave some love love in the reviews!

Love love,

Eternity


	6. Skellig

Disclaimer: Sorry it's been a whole week since we've heard from this story. I have been taking one-shot requests from readers. So, if there is a certain one-shot you've wanted to see, let me know!

This chapter's song is "Skellig," by Loreena McKennitt.

* * *

**Chapter 6**

**Skellig**

* * *

**Note: This chapter contains changes to the true plot of Mass Effect 3. Bear with me! All will make sense later.**

Shepard hit the ground just as her shield gave out, cursing heavily. "James! Get that goddamn turret down!"

"Yep," Vega called back, already letting off a burst of shots from his shotgun. The turret snapped in half at the base, sending a hail of bullets lodging into the nearby buildings. "I think that was the last of 'em, Shepard."

"Shepard!"

The commander whirled to where Liara was shielding her eyes from the bright Horizon sun. "What? What happened?"

"Atlas incoming!" Liara replied, ducking behind the nearest crate. Liara's body was suddenly encased in blue biotic power, her hands clenched in anticipation.

Shepard cursed, repositioning herself so that she could see through her scope. There was still a barrage of smoke from the flash grenades Vega had tossed, but it was slowly clearing. Shepard could just barely make out the lumbering shape of the Atlas from where she was.

"This is a hell of a lot of shit to get through for whatever's in that damn pod!" James yelled, voice echoing through the courtyard. "It'd better be useful, none of that prothean precursor crap!"

"No kidding," Shepard murmured to herself, lining up a shot.

* * *

The first thing Joker said when the ground team returned, leading a confused and understandably angry Prothean, was, "Hey, that looks a lot like a Collector." When Shepard brought her hand to her mouth, attempting to shush him, the next thing he said was, "Holy shit, why are you wearing a wedding ring?"

Liara was the first one to grab Shepard's hand, inspecting the ring for herself. She raised startled blue eyes to Shepard, sounding completely confused as she asked, "Did you...?"

Vega was the first to clap Shepard on the back, guffawing his congratulations. "When did it happen?" He pressed. "You and the big guy? I never thought he'd have the balls to ask you!"

The Prothean turned his golden gaze to Shepard, watching her balefully. Shepard cleared her throat, extracting her hand from Liara's grip and murmuring, "Could you two finish escorting our guest to the engineering deck? See if there is somewhere he would like to stay."

Vega opened his mouth to either argue or ask more questions. Liara, always the one for diplomacy, grabbed James' arm and shoved him gently toward the elevator. The Prothean made a noise of disquiet before following them.

Joker was still watching Shepard, looking both stunned and amused. "So, when did you get hitched?"

"We didn't," Shepard hissed, smacking the back of Joker's head lightly. His cap went flying, making him moan in distress.

"Damnit, Shepard, you have to pick that up. I don't think the brass would like it if I broke my leg on account of you abusing me."

Shepard couldn't help but grin as she stooped to grab the hat. She placed it back on Joker's head before sinking into the abandoned copilot seat. "He asked me a few nights ago. Once this is all over... assuming we survive..."

"Hey," Joker interrupted. "Of course we're gonna survive. Last I checked, Commander Shepard the Unbeatable was our commanding officer. She's, like, the toughest chick I know. She did all of these awesome things, like take down Saren, become the first human Spectre _ever_, come back to life after being dead, destroy the Collectors, get out of jail free after turning against the Alliance..."

Shepard winced. "That last one sounded like shit. Maybe we should omit that part when trying to cheer me up?"

Joker chuckled, punching a flashing light that had appeared on his terminal. "Okay, well, everything besides that last part was badass. You're pretty much the golden child of the Milky Way Galaxy."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "Are you writing my biography or something? This all sounds a little rehearsed."

Joker bit his lower lip to hold back a laugh. "Nah, I am just repeating the shit Liara says when she's been drinking. Who knew an asari would hold on to a crush for this long."

Shepard decided to ignore that comment and change the subject altogether. "How are you, Joker? Really. Are you holding up?"

Joker was silent for a moment before he nodded. "I'm okay. A little... nostalgic, I guess. Sitting here and talking like this... It reminds me of the good old days."

"You and Ash?" Shepard murmured, her voice lowering.

Joker glanced over at her, but Shepard was staring straight ahead, focusing on the stars that blazed by. "You knew? Did Ash... tell you?"

Shepard shook her head. "No. Ash was deeply personal about relationships, even with me. She liked to keep things to herself. I just happened to see the two of you a few mornings when I couldn't sleep."

Joker nodded, feeling his throat constricting. He focused on his terminal, typing in commands and running diagnostics that didn't need to be run. He just needed to do something, to keep his hands busy.

But then Shepard leaned over, putting a hand on Joker's arm. When Joker finally looked over, Shepard's eyes were wet. "I am so sorry, Jeff," she whispered, voice wavering. "I am so sorry for taking her away from you."

Her words caused all of the walls Joker had built up over the years to crumble. His shoulders shook and tears fell down his cheeks as he watched Shepard. "Don't..." he swallowed past the lump in his throat. "Don't fucking do this, Shepard. We both... we know you did what you thought was best."

Shepard ran her free hand over her face. "I don't know that, Joker. I don't know what I did, the choice I made, wasn't just because I had feelings for Kaidan at the time. I don't know if what I chose was because I was still angry with Ashley for being so cold to Garrus. I don't know why I didn't choose Ashley."

She had just confirmed everything Joker had thought in those first days after Virmire. She had just voiced every thought that had passed through his head when Kaidan boarded the shuttle and Ashley didn't. But even hearing her admit these things didn't bring Ashley back.

"Shepard," Joker began, trying to find the words to make it right. "It's done. You made a decision. Being a Commander..." he broke off. "Being a Commander means making shit calls sometimes. Either way, we would have lost a soldier that day. It was your decision to make, and you made it. No one blames you. I don't blame you. I just..." Joker let out a choked chuckle. "I just really wish I'd gotten laid first."

Shepard burst into wet laughter, wiping her tears away. She gripped Joker's hand in hers, squeezing gently. "I never asked you for your forgiveness, but I want to now."

"There's nothing to forgive," Joker said, feeling a weight lifting from his heart. "But you have it."

Shepard nodded, looking relieved. As she mopped at her face with a hand, Joker added, "Remember our vacation after Saren? And how you wondered why the hell I ended up in Tijuana?"

"Oh, God. Please tell me it wasn't hookers. Garrus swore it was hookers."

"Hell no!" Joker laughed. He sobered, whispering, "I met Lynn, Shepard. Ashley's sister. We met up in Florida and went to Mexico together."

Shepard's eyes widened. "No way! Shit, Joker, how?"

Joker shrugged, smiling softly. "I guess the galaxy has a way of tying up some loose ends."

* * *

The prothean was not amused by her. She could feel it watching her as she stood in front of it, arms crossed over her chest. Even so, he did not grace her with words. He only sat and stewed.

"Are you going to be a problem?" Shepard repeated, losing her patience.

Finally the prothean rose its gaze to her, tawny eyes regarding her in a way that could only be described as malevolent. He stood very suddenly, hooking a hand around Shepard's throat. The men at her side reacted instantly, guns leveled at his head.

"Take your hand off of the Commander!" one shouted, sounding every bit like the drill sergeant Shepard had in basic training.

"Ease up," Shepard murmured to the men, eyes never flickering from the prothean's. "He's not going to hurt me. Are you?"

The prothean let out a snarl, releasing her throat. "You have many people who believe in you. Believe in the banner you carry. But you yourself don't think you will survive this."

Shepard checked her breathing and kept her eyes level. She heard Liara in the background, slowly moving closer. Her men were still holding their guns aimed directly at the prothean; Shepard could almost taste the adrenaline and testosterone seeping from their pores.

"Will you be a problem?" Shepard attempted again.

"No," he replied snappishly. Then, a bit softer, "No. There is anger in this room. It clogs my senses. I will not harm you or your crew unless you give me reason to."

Shepard nodded before turning to her men. "At ease," she said. "You're both dismissed." Her gaze swept over to Liara, whose excited eyes never left the being in front of her. "Do you have a name we should call you by?" Shepard finally murmured, turning back to face the prothean.

He breathed in deeply, replying, "Among my people, I was a warrior known as Javik."

"Javik," Shepard repeated, nodding. "It is nice to meet you, though I feel the circumstances could be better. My friend, Liara, is a scientist. She has been studying the prothean for years and was wondering if she might ask a few questions?"

Liara stepped forward excitedly, her eyes bright. Javik turned his gaze away from Shepard for the first time, sizing up the asari before him. "Asari," he began, voice amused. "It is strange to see your species can read, let alone study."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "This sounds painful and unnecessarily taunting. I am going to go upstairs. Liara, do you need one of the soldiers back?"

"No, Shepard, I will be fine," Liara replied easily, a datapad poised and ready. "I can call you if necessary."

Shepard nodded, getting the hell out of the room before the prothean could insult them further.

* * *

Shepard was finally getting some much needed rest when her omni-tool went off. She awoke with a start, squinting at the bright orange display. It was an incoming call from an unknown identifier, which made Shepard leery.

"Don't answer it," Garrus groaned from beside her, rolling over to curve his arm around her waist, pulling her closer. "Sleep is good. Calls not good."

Shepard smiled but connected the call to her earpiece anyway. "Shepard." Garrus muttered darkly, grabbing one of Shepard's pillows and covering his face with it.

"Shepard, it's me."

Shepard's heart jolted. A million things ran through her head at once, none of them good. "Kasumi? What's wrong?"

"It's Thane," she replied, voice shaking. "He's... he's in the hospital. They don't think... God, Shepard, they don't think he's going to make it this time."

"Tell me what happened," Shepard demanded, tossing Garrus' arm off and tossing herself out of bed. She was dressed in under five seconds, a new record, and was flying toward the elevator.

Kasumi was trying to remain calm, but her voice kept breaking. "He had another attack. He couldn't get oxygen. His hands are so cold, Shepard. They think he has a blockage. Blood isn't getting through to his hands. They might have to amputate, but amputation..."

"Blood loss," Shepard whispered, her heart thundering in her chest. "What do you need, Kasumi? Blood? I can go to-"

"No, Shepard, he doesn't have that long," Kasumi argued. "Kolyat's here with him and he…" her voice disappeared for a few moments before she sobbed, "He says he is ready to go."

Shepard felt her heart breaking for the girl as her thumb hovered over the Deck 2 button. She slowly withdrew her hand and sat down in the elevator, letting the words wash over her. "Is he… sure?"

Kasumi made a noise of affirmation. "He wanted me to tell you that he has prayed for you. That he will always be looking out for you in whatever way he can."

"Kasumi…"

"I have to go," she whispered. She didn't sound like the happy-go-lucky thief that Shepard had grown to know and adore. Her heart was breaking, again, and she couldn't stop the pain.

"Next time I'm on the Citadel-"

"Okay, yes, next time," Kasumi interrupted. "I have to go. I'll call you when… when I can."

The line went dead and Shepard felt her heart growing cold. Another name for the wall; another name that should not be there. Shepard closed her eyes, head falling on her knees, and simply sat.

The door to the elevator opened after a few minutes and Garrus was there, looking concerned. "Taking a nap?"

Shepard looked up at him and forced a smile. "It was Kasumi. Thane…"

Garrus nodded. "I know. I gathered as much." He reached down, helping Shepard to her feet. "You can't blame yourself for this. We all knew it was coming."

"That doesn't mean this hurts less," Shepard chuckled wryly.

Garrus brushed a kiss over her forehead and began steering her toward the bedroom. "Come on. This war won't fight itself with Commander Shepard passes out from exhaustion."

Shepard attempted to laugh, but her insides felt too heavy; she felt like she was bogged down with seawater. She was cold… She was always cold recently. It was like she had been swimming in the depths of the ocean for days, deeper than sunlight could pierce.

Shepard shivered and crawled into bed, determined to forget the cold, wet feeling inside of her.

* * *

Author's Note:

Flu bug, Shepard? Or something more serious? Hmmm… Let me know your thoughts or concerns in the comments!

Love love,

E.


	7. Babel

Disclaimer: Chapter Seven's title song is a ditty by Mumford and Sons called "Babel." Please enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 7**

**Babel**

* * *

"Shepard, for the love of all you deem holy, please keep your eyes on the skyway."

Shepard didn't pay much attention to Garrus' feeble attempts to keep her safe in the air. The rental hovercar zipped in between other motorists without utilizing any sort of turning signal. She had almost smashed into the back of another vehicle that had stopped to let someone out of their parking garage, even. But that was nowhere near as bad as a few miles back, when she had pulled out in front of a frozen food truck that nearly obliterated their vehicle.

"You are the worst driver. Ever."

Shepard ignored him, as was her tendency when she was behind the wheel of something that could cause bodily harm. Her face was scrunched up in concentration, her fingers drumming the wheel in rapid succession.

"How have you never gotten into an accident?" Garrus continued, feeling as though his life was attempting to flash before his eyes. With the way Shepard was driving, life was having a hard time keeping up with them.

"Shepard, I think you just passed our turn," EDI informed from the backseat.

Shepard deftly swung the wheel to the left, cutting off six lanes of traffic. Garrus would have glared at the android if he wasn't too terrified to look away from the road.

"Nicely done," EDI spoke up.

Garrus groaned and Shepard grinned, her foot pressing down on the accelerator. The car yowled and jolted forward, just narrowly missing a zoomer to their left.

* * *

Kasumi agreed to meet Shepard at the ramen shop in Zakera. Garrus and EDI had both gone their separate ways, as well, promising to meet back with Shepard that evening at the Embassies. Councilor Valern had asked for them to meet with him with matters

Just as Shepard slid onto a stool, a young woman with long, dark hair sat beside her. Shepard blinked, confused, as she looked upon Kasumi Goto for what felt like the first time. The lithe woman was dressed in a pair of leggings, boots, and tunic-like top. She was not wearing her usual makeup or, more significantly, her hood.

"Kasumi," Shepard murmured, feeling her heart drop. She hadn't known what to expect, but this had not been it.

The little Asian firecracker smiled brightly, though Shepard could see the pain that tinged it. "Shep. Thanks for coming out. I know it was sudden, but…"

Shepard took her friend's hand, squeezing it. "Don't apologize, Kasumi. I want to be here."

Kasumi nodded, looking a bit lost. She shook herself, forcing the smile back. "Well, let's eat. I haven't had ramen since… well, since last week, but that was too long ago!" She ordered for both of them before murmuring, "You know… the best thing that has happened to me in a long time was joining up with The Normandy. When I heard there was a suicide mission… I was intrigued, but also challenged. I wanted it to be tough. And after crawling through those damn vents in the Collector base?" she chuckled, which made Shepard laugh, as well. "It was good, Shepard. Really good."

"Not to mention you had Thane," Shepard prodded gently.

Kasumi nodded, her smile turning wistful. "I did, didn't I? I never thought I could feel that way again. With Keiji, I always felt like I was on holiday. We did stupid things. Stunts, hijinks. It was all a party, until we came across the information that got him killed," Kasumi added. "But with Thane…" she shook her head, the silken black hair falling gently around her shoulders.

"Thane showed me how to be happy in my own skin," she finished finally. "I never felt like I needed to prove myself to him. What we had was _real_. And I will always love Keiji in my own way," she added quickly, "but Thane… he was different. He made me realize that I don't need to hide myself anymore. I don't need to pretend."

Shepard rubbed her thumb over Kasumi's knuckles, doing her best to sooth the girl. "I'm so sorry."

Kasumi nodded, but she was smiling when she looked up. It was a genuine smile. "He was such a good man. Good drell. However the hell you say it."

The two laughed and the chef returned with sake. The poured a small bowl full and toasted to Thane's memory.

* * *

Shepard had too much rice wine. She had known that drinking so much with Kasumi was hardly the best decision in the world. She proceeded to groan as much afterwards, on the cab-ride to the Presidium _and_ on the walk toward the Embassies.

"Hell, Shep," Kasumi had giggled, "we're on the Citadel! What the hell is going to happen here?"

Shepard had laughingly agreed as the two walked arm-in-arm through the nearly deserted streets. "I miss you guys," Kasumi muttered with her lower lip jutting out. "Do you think you could sneak me on board? Me not being Alliance and all, I guess it would be a challenge. But hey, you've always been one for bending the rules."

Shepard chuckled. "You kidding me? Half of my ground crew isn't Alliance. I can get you on. It's not like they really care who is helping, so long as you're willing to."

Kasumi nodded, more to herself than to Shepard. "It would be nice to be with others again. I think I've gotten dependent."

Shepard knocked hips with the girl, making her laugh. Shepard tried to think of something to take her mind off of everything, even if for a moment. Her eyes lit up as she lowered her voice conspiratorially. "I bet I know something you haven't found out yet."

Kasumi raised an eyebrow, instantly intrigued. "I am listening."

Shepard glanced around, as if someone might be watching the two girls weaving through the streets. She then held up her left hand, the sapphire in her ring catching the light.

"No!" Kasumi gasped, her face lighting up. "Oh my God, Shep! You are such a tramp, running off and getting married without telling anyone!"

Shepard laughed. "We're not married; keep it down, too, this is hush-hush."

Kasumi's facial expression did everything except call Shepard thick. "It's hush-hush, yet you're wearing a ring on your finger? Anyone with eyes can see it."

"You didn't notice," Shepard pointed out.

"Well, I am happily drunk," Kasumi giggled, quickening her pace and sprinting toward the bright lights of the Embassy. Shepard was about to follow suit when she noticed something odd. The lights on the exterior of the Embassy were winking out, one by one.

"Kasumi, look!" Shepard called ahead.

The girl turned her gaze upward before coming back to Shepard's side. "That's not normal, Shepard," Kasumi murmured, all excitement and vivaciousness gone. "Something is happening."

And then the explosion hit, taking an entire upper floor of the Embassy with it.

* * *

Garrus had been playing catch-up with some old C-Sec friends at Purgatory when the dim lights flickered and wavered, as if the power had been interrupted. The music stopped, leaving the entire club eerily silent.

Garrus glanced around in an attempt to make eye contact with someone who might know what was happened. Everyone else looked as bemused as he was.

"My omni-tool just shorted out," Jovan, one of his previous partners, grumbled. "I got a message in from Bailey, but communication went out before I could read it."

"Attention patrons," a harried voice called over the loud speaker. Everyone instantly went quiet, waiting. "There has been an attack on the Citadel Embassies. We are unaware of details. Please remain calm and return home as soon as possible. I repeat-"

Garrus glanced down at his omni-tool, cursing. It was 1930, thirty minutes after Garrus agreed to meet up with Shepard.

Cold dread filled him. _At the Embassies. _

"Fuck!" he exclaimed, getting to his feet as quickly as he could. "I have to go-"

"We're coming, too," Joven spoke up. The human was already out of his chair and pulling his pistol. "We're C-Sec, after all. If comms are down, we need to get over there and see what's going on ourselves."

The other C-Sec officer, a young turian named Donnik, nodded. "Let's go. Garrus, did you bring a car?"

At the shake of his head, Jovan added, "Alright, you're with us. Keep up, old man!" The C-Sec officers began to sprint toward the front door. The civilians were already spilling onto the walkways, terror and panic rising in their expressions. Donnik pushed through the crowd, parting a way for them to follow out.

The ride was stressful and chaotic. Even with the siren on their car wailing, civilian zoomers were clogging the airways. Garrus' finger itched to pull out his gun and blast a swathe through the people in their way. He just barely reigned in the urge, instead muttering, "Can't this thing go any faster?"

The vehicle pitched forward at that moment, being struck from behind by another vehicle. Donnik cursed heavily, grappling with the steering column. "What the fu-"

The buildings around them shuddered and moaned as metal supports and struts buckled. Glass shattered, spraying like a flooded dam into the streets below. Vehicles were sent into a flurry, attempting to circumvent the other traffic as fast as possible. The result was more accidents than Garrus could count.

He allowed himself five whole seconds to panic. He then wiped the terror from his heart and reached forward, shoving Donnik's arm. "Hey, we gotta go. Take this thing lower."

Donnik looked shaken. "This is a no hover zone. I would get in serious tr-"

Jovan struck Donnik soundly on the shoulder, looking perturbed. "We're under attack, you idiot!" Jovan grunted. "The last thing the brass is going to care about is us hovering in a no hover zone."

Donnik was shaking but he nodded, pulling the battered vehicle out of the higher altitude and taking it down.

* * *

Shepard groaned, shaking glass and smatters of debris from her back. Kasumi was stirring, as well, but looked ill. "Shep, you were right," she groaned. "We drank too much. I could have sworn I just saw the Embassy burst into flames."

Shepard shook her head, her gut twisting. "You didn't imagine it." She pulled up her omni-tool, the orange glow filtering through the dark. There was no connection to the Citadel communication network. "Everything's done," Shepard murmured. "I've got to go – Garrus and EDI were in there waiting for me."

Kasumi tugged a few pieces of concrete from her hair. "I'm coming with. I don't have guns, but I have a dagger. That's worth something, right?"

Shepard glanced down at her civvie jeans and shirt, cursing. "I don't have my guns."

Kasumi bit her lower lip. "Well… at least we both have cloaking?" With that, Kasumi fizzled out of view, leaving only a hum of her outline.

Shepard nodded, activating her own cloak. "Let's move."

* * *

Garrus, Jovan and Donnik finally made it to the Embassies. It had taken half an hour longer than usual, but considering the state of disarray that seemed to be filling the Citadel, that wasn't hard to understand.

"What the hell is happening?" Jovan demanded, speaking to no one in particular. The group picked their way over the rubble of what was once the thirteenth story of the Citadel Embassies. It had been the widest and most easily accessible to their tattered vehicle. "Who would do this?"

"I don't know," Garrus replied unnecessarily. He had worked with Jovan long enough to know that this was another of the human's rhetorical questions.

"Reapers?" Donnik panted, attempting to keep up with the older men.

"Too organized," Jovan replied quickly, tossing himself over another toppled column. "They'd need to have a ground team and husks aren't smart enough to do this."

Garrus stopped suddenly, holding a hand up to halt the others' progress. The two fell in beside him silently, grabbing their guns.

Garrus peered over the rubble and caught sight of the white armor. He cursed silently, ducking back. "Cerberus," he replied, shaking his head. "I don't know what in the hell they're thinking, attacking the Citadel."

Jovan nodded, looking grim. "Donnik and I will fan out. Your first shot will be our cue."

Garrus nodded, feeling his mandibles flicking softly against his face as he attempted to still the nerves inside of him. The other men had already spread out and away, giving Garrus a moment of privacy. He pulled a chain from around his neck, the black band at the end of it gleaming in the faint light. He held the ring tightly for a moment, sending a silent prayer for the spirits to protect Shepard.

* * *

Shepard had managed to grab a sniper rifle for herself and two pistols for Kasumi. The sheer amount of C-Sec dead and littering the Embassy was high enough to make Shepard queasy. What the hell were they up against?

Shepard then heard her given name called out from the other side of the room. Shock and confusion filled her; it wasn't every day someone used her first name. Shepard spun, ducking to the ground and raising the sniper rifle. Her scope picked up the limping form of Commander Bailey, followed by a slew of armed C-Sec.

"Bailey," Shepard breathed, feeling relief sweep over her. She put the gun on her back, moving forward. She could see the faint glimmer of Kasumi's cloak as the girl retreated into the shadows. No one who meant her harm had ever seen her face and lived to tell about it, but Shepard could understand Kasumi's unwillingness to test C-Sec. "What happened here?"

"Goddamn Cerberus," Bailey hissed. Blood was blooming from a wound at his side, but he seemed more pissed off than anything. "They're after the councilors, Shepard. I send a squad ahead-"

Shepard shook her head. "I think the squad's down, Bailey. There were about twenty C-Sec at the entrance, all dead."

"Damnit," he grumbled, shaking his head. "I have to try to get communications back up. Take a few men with you-"

"Have you seen Garrus?" Shepard interrupted. "He was supposed to meet me here, along with a humanoid mech named EDI."

"EDI, yeah, I saw her," Bailey nodded, pointing his thumb vaguely behind him. "She's fine. She's been helping get some of the destroyed turrets on the roof going. Said something about letting the Normandy crew know what was happening?"

Shepard didn't bother explaining that EDI the mech was actually EDI the Normandy. It required more time and detail than Shepard was really willing to spend. "No sign of Garrus?"

Bailey shook his head. "None. We've only been on the East side of the Embassies, Shepard, so it's possible he's on the West."

Shepard nodded. "Right. I'll take the West, then, and scout for survivors. Keep your men here; I move faster alone."

Bailey, to his credit, didn't argue. "Right, Shepard the super-human. I'll set up a perimeter here and secure the access doors. Just make sure to stay alive, eh? I'll give you a call when comm. is back up."

Shepard gave a curt nod before jogging toward the West stairwell. Kasumi flickered back into view as Shepard rounded the corner, taking the stairs two at a time.

"C-Sec's on first name basis, huh? You have a lot of convenient friends, Shepard," Kasumi admitted.

Shepard let out a short chuckle, her rifle in hand. "With all of the inconvenient enemies I have, I take what I can get in the friends department."

* * *

Author's Note:

I want to apologize again for the delays. I have been trying to slow the pace of the story so that I can be sure to get the Omega DLC in here at an appropriate time.

Also, as you've probably notice, this story is now only vaguely following the ME3 game storyline. I have been grappling with how I want to end this, and I have decided that perhaps a completely re-writing of the ending is in order. To do that, I have to have a few things happen differently along the way, though.

Leave me a comment, let me know what you liked or didn't like.

Love love,

E.


	8. Winter is Coming

Disclaimer: This chapter's title song is "Winter is Coming," by Radical Face.

* * *

**Chapter 8**

**Winter is Coming**

* * *

Shepard stumbled, a wave of dizziness striking her suddenly and ferociously. She put a hand out to steady herself against the wall, only to pitch forward, retching. The pistol she had been using tumbled across the floor.

"Shepard!" Kasumi whispered harshly. The girl's doe-like eyes were worried as she came to Shepard's side. "Shep, come on, don't do this to me now. We've got too many guys on our ass for you to take a break."

"Can't," Shepard wheezed. "Can't see straight."

"Shit," Kasumi whispered, voice frantic. She wedged her body in beside Shepard's, utilizing the small pile of ruble in front of them as cover. She let a few rounds off, just barely ducking back down in time to avoid a concussive shot. "Shepard, if this is morning sickness, I am going to murder you."

Shepard would have laughed and told her it was impossible for her to be pregnant, but she was too busy fighting off another wave of nausea. Instead she began dry heaving, her shoulders wracked with shakes. "Kasumi," she breathed between shuddering breaths.

Kasumi didn't respond. She stood, letting off a few more rounds. Shepard could barely hear over the blood rushing through her ears, sounding so much like the waves on the beach. The thought brought memories spiraling into her brain, memories of Miami Beach, lounging in the sand with Garrus, Kaidan and Joker. Sipping mai tais and retelling stories about taking Saren out.

_Was that vacation really almost four years ago?_ Shepard thought mildly. _Huh._

"Shepard," came Kasumi's voice, invading her thoughts.

Shepard shook her head, trying to clear it.

"Shepard!" Kasumi repeated, shoving the commander's shoulder. Shepard wobbled, hazy eyes turning to meet Kasumi's. "Come on, I cleared a path. I need you to cloak; can you do that?"

Shepard weakly looked down at her omni-tool, which lit up hopefully. She tapped a few buttons, praying whatever she had just done resulted in the cloaking technology flowing over her skin.

It must have done the trick because Kasumi's cloak went up, as well, and the Asian wrapped an arm around Shepard, hoisting her up.

"Damn, Shep," Kasumi grunted. "You weigh more than you look."

Shepard couldn't answer. She felt everything slipping out of focus again. Her legs gave out beneath her and everything faded to black.

* * *

Garrus nearly shot Councilor Valern before he realized who he was.

"You really should have some robes that don't look like Cerberus uniforms," Garrus chided, holstering his pistol. "Are you alright?"

"Fine," Valern replied, though his tone was trembling. He climbed out from the cafeteria table he had been lurking under, brushing off his white robe. He turned his eyes from Garrus and toward the two C-Sec with him. Valern looked alarmed. "Where is the Commander? She was supposed to be here!"

Garrus swallowed down the fear that came with that question. "We were separated. I don't know where-"

"They're going to kill us all," Valern shouted, launching into a frenzy of pacing. "Shepard's the only one I trust! I told her I had information about this-"

"Sir," Donnik interrupted, stepping forward, "If you knew about this, why didn't you come for-"

"I didn't know this would happen so soon!" Valern spat angrily, his fear turning to rage. "I thought we had weeks, _months! _How was I to know Udina planned this so quickly and effectively! The man can barely tie his shoes without making a fool of himself!"

"Udina?" Garrus and Jovan repeated simultaneously.

"Yes!" Valern snapped. "Udina! That's why I needed _Shepard! _Udina has been dealing in large sums of money. The only explanation I could come up with was Cerberus. Who else has the kind of funds necessary to pay off a councilor? And now _this!"_

"My communication link is back up," Donnik said suddenly, looking hopeful. "Garrus, can you reach Shepard? Do you know her communication identifier?"

Garrus almost laughed. Did he know Shepard's identifier? Instead he punched in her number, praying to the spirits that she answered.

The omni-tool's speaker capabilities filled the small staff room with the sound of buzzing. Finally, the buzzing stopped and a strangled female's voice snapped, "This better be good."

Garrus was taken aback. "Shepard?"

"No," the female responded between pants. "This is… never mind who this is. Who are _you_?"

Something clicked in Garrus' head. _Kasumi. _"K, it's Garrus," he said quickly. "Where's Shepard?"

"Passed out. I'm lugging her toward Councilor Valern's chambers. Where the hell are you?"

"With Councilor Valern in the fifth floor cafeteria," Garrus groaned. Valern's chambers were on the tenth floor. "We're all safe for now. Is Shepard hurt?"

"No. She just passed out. We drank a little too much over dinner, I assume vertigo struck her down."

Councilor Velern was massaging his forehead. "Great, our biggest savior is a drunk," he was muttering.

Garrus ignored him and turned his attention back to Kasumi. "Listen, K, keep her safe; we're on our way. Until then, stay out of sight. There's some kind of plot to overthrow the Citadel. Cerberus has help from the inside, do you hear me?"

"Loud and clear, big guy," she responded easily. "Holy shit! I have to go, Garrus. I'll call you back when we have a second."

"K-" Garrus shouted, trying to get her attention.

"I'll call you in a minute!" Kasumi replied, sounding excited. "I just saw Udina! We're going to group up with him and wait for you."

"Kasumi!" Garrus snapped, not even caring to mask her identity.

The line went dead.

"Shit," Jovan cursed. "She's taking Shepard right to him!" He loaded a new heat sink into his gun, glancing between the others. "We have to get up there."

Garrus tried calling Shepard's omni-tool again, but it was not answered. He grappled with the numbers, calling her a third time, all the while running through the prayers of protection every turian was taught as a child.

A shot rang out through the room, so close that Garrus ducked. When he turned, pistol raised and ready, all he found was Donnik and Jovan looking at the floor in a stunned silence.

Councilor Velern was on the ground, a thick green blood spilling from a neat hole at the top of his head.

Garrus' eyes rose at the same time his pistol did. There was a man in black standing not but ten yards away, a smoking pistol in hand. He had black hair, black armor, and a thick visor that marred most of his face. The Cerberus emblem on his chest gleamed a burnished gold. The smile on his lips was sadistic, something that Garrus had seem on the most hardened of criminals.

He opened his mouth and the voice that came out was like a serpent's. "The Illusive Man sends his regards… Garrus Vakarian. Or should I call your Archangel?"

Garrus aimed a shot and fired, but the shot went wide and the man moved away, so fast he looked like a blur. He laughed, the sound sending chills through Garrus.

"I would love to stick around and play," he continued, voice dropping lower. "But Udina and I have a little date with your girlfriend."

Garrus pulled the trigger, letting off four shots. The man was gone, the bullets burrowing deep into the wall.

* * *

Shepard's eyes fluttered and Kaidan was at her side in an instant. "Hey," he whispered, putting a hand to her cheek. "You alright?"

Shepard moaned, pulling herself into a sitting position. She took a quick once-over of the room. It looked like Udina's office, and she had been unceremoniously dumped on one of the couched in the corner. Her head was pounding, but not from a hangover. It was something more centrally located, something sharper.

"Kaidan, what are you doing here?" Shepard croaked, her throat rattling dryly.

"Udina called me in," Kaidan divulged, but he seemed less than thrilled. "Someone is coming after the councilors. They think it's an inside job."

"Inside job?" Shepard repeated, blinking. "By who?"

"We don't know," Tevos spoke up from where she, Sparatus and Udina had been conversing in the opposite corner. She glided her way over to Shepard, pausing beside the couch. "There have been… rumors."

"Why wasn't anyone warned?" Shepard asked, eyebrows scrunching together. She caught the uneasy look that passed between Kasumi and Kaidan.

Shepard's eyes turned to Udina, who was looking just as morose as everyone else in the room. "This wasn't something we caught soon," Udina admitted. "We didn't even have proof until just recently. We have video-"

"We need to keep moving now that Shepard is awake," Sparatus interrupted. "We have to get to safety. Shepard, will you and your friend escort us to the shuttle port on the roof?"

Shepard glanced at Kaidan, raising an eyebrow. "You okay with me and Ka…Kay shadowing you?" Shepard stumbled, almost slipping Kasumi's real name into conversation. She was sure that Kaidan had never heard of the thief, but almost certain the councilors had.

Kaidan nodded, looking relieved. "Three's better than one. You sure you're up to it, Shepard?"

Shepard nodded but let Kaidan help her to her feet. Shepard stretched her leg muscles tentatively before grabbing her sniper from where it had been leaned against the wall. "Alright, let's get going."

* * *

The oxygen vents on the roof blew Shepard's hair out of her feverish face, doing its best to calm her flushed cheeks. "Udina, how's the ship coming?" she asked, glancing back at where Udina was fiddling with controls on the landing pad.

"Give me a minute, Shepard!" was his gruff reply.

"Shepard!" Kasumi called, seeming alarmed. "The elevator's coming back up!"

Shepard trained her rifle on the elevator just as the doors slid open. Kaidan, Kasumi and Shepard stood like a living wall between the councilors and their attackers.

Garrus was the first to emerge from the elevator. Shepard immediately dropped her gun to her side, looking relieved. "Garrus, thank God."

Garrus looked equally amazed. "Shepard!"

"Keep them back!" Udina cried from the other end of the landing pad. "They're with Cerberus!"

Shepard's brow furrowed as she turned to look at Udina. "What?" It was then that she noticed Kaidan and Kasumi were still pointing their guns at Garrus.

"It's true, Shepard," Kaidan murmured, his mouth set in a firm line. His gun didn't waiver and he had it trained directly at Garrus' face.

Shepard glanced between Kaidan and Kasumi. "What the hell is going on here? Put your guns down, that's _Garrus_!"

Kasumi shook her head. "Shep, listen to Udina. He has a video," Kasumi murmured. She was cool and collected, as if she was staring down the barrel at a complete stranger.

Udina stepped forward but kept safely behind Kaidan. "It's all right here, Commander," Udina crowed, seeming very pleased with himself as he pulled up his omni-tool. A short loop of security footage began to play. There was no sound, but Garrus' gun was on the salarian councilor, who was standing dumbly not four feet from him. And then the councilor was on the ground and Garrus' gun fell to his side. "See?" Udina continued. "He shot Councilor Velern. He's here to murder all of us."

Shepard's mouth went dry. She looked up to where Garrus, flanked by two C-Sec officers, was watching Kaidan and Kasumi warily, guns drawn and aimed at Udina.

"Shepard," Garrus began, "you know me. You know I wouldn't do that."

"We have video," Kaidan responded, tone cold.

"It's fabricated," the C-Sec human spoke up. "Cerberus killed Velern."

"Why would Cerberus kill Velern and leave you three alive, if you were not helping them?" Tevos interrupted, her beautiful brow furrowing. "It makes no sense."

"It a trap. Udina's the one who has been helping Cerberus," the human C-Sec snapped.

"Preposterous!" Udina cried out.

"Garrus, you even told me Velern was with you," Kasumi began. Her mouth was set in a weary line, her eyes begging Garrus to contradict her, to say something that explained everything. "You told me he was safe."

"He was," the other turian piped in. "But then this Cerberus operative swooped in and shot him."

"I have video of _you _shooting him!" Udina shouted over the roar of oxygen vents.

"Shut up, everyone," Shepard interrupted. She put her gun back in its holster before tentatively stepping closer to Garrus. He didn't lower his gun, but he did point it away from her. "Garrus," she began softly, "you've got to be very clear with me. Right now. Did you shoot Velern?"

"No," he answered, just as calmly as she had asked it.

"Did these men shoot Velern?"

"No."

Shepard took a deep breath. "Cerberus shot him?"

"Yes."

Shepard turned, facing down the two guns trained on them by her former squad mates. "Kaidan, Kasumi… please lower your guns."

"This is asinine!" Udina bellowed, moving back to the control panel on the landing pad. "I am not staying out here with you murderers! I am taking my chances downstairs-"

"There were Cerberus phantoms right behind us in the shaft," Garrus interrupted. "Don't do this. You'll all get killed."

Kasumi's gun faltered and she slowly lowered her weapon. "Garrus wouldn't do this. He wouldn't."

"Lower your weapons or I will be forced to shoot," Kaidan shouted, not paying the girl any attention.

Garrus let out a gruff growl and swiveled, the pistol aimed right at Kaidan. "Don't make me pull this trigger, Kaidan."

Kaidan's lips quirked into a wry smile. "You've wanted to do it since day one, I'd imagine."

Shepard looked between the two men, her head spinning. She pulled her pistol, aiming it squarely at Kaidan's chest. "Kaidan, don't."

Kaidan laughed, the sound harsh. "Taking his side over the Council's... why am I not surprised?"

Shepard didn't answer Kaidan. "Udina, what do you have to say to the charges?"

Udina was turning purple he was so angry. "Charges? These murderers can't charge me with anything! They-"

"Udina," Tevos began suddenly, looking confused, "You called Sparatus and me and told us to meet you in your office. Right after the first attack… you called us."

"Of course I did!" he snapped, annoyed. "Why wouldn't I try to keep the other councilors safe?"

Tevos took a step back. "Communications were out Citadel-wide. There is no way that you could communicate with us unless you were looping communication through somewhere else."

"Such as the Cerberus communication tower," Sparatus finished, his mandibles flaring wide. He hooked a hand around Tevos' arm, drawing her away from Udina. He blocked her smaller frame with his, as if worried Udina might attempt to take her out.

Udina stood there and stared between all of the eyes now locked directly on him. "I… this is ridiculous! I am opening that elevator!"

Just as he moved toward the control panel, a gunshot rang out, echoing across the landing pad. Udina slumped to the ground. Tevos flinched and turned away from his body, which was now staining the rooftop crimson.

Kaidan's gun was now trained on Shepard. "You just shot him!" he snapped, eyes wide. "We didn't know for sure-"

"I knew for sure," Garrus returned, lowering his gun. "Nice shot, Shepard."

Kaidan's hands were shaking. "It was my job to protect them," he seethed. "_Our_ job," he added to Shepard. His gun was now trained on her. "And you trust the turian who shot one of the councilors?"

"Kaidan, put the gun down," Shepard sighed.

Kaidan did not back down. His gun was focused directly at Shepard's forehead. Shepard could practically feel Kaidan's finger wrapping around the trigger. She raised her gun and fired another shot, this one entered Kaidan's leg.

Kaidan fell to the ground, letting out a howl of pain. Shepard holstered her gun and grabbed the one Kaidan had dropped, tossing it to Kasumi. "I warned you to _never_ point a gun at me again," she hissed, feeling something very angry and very unfamiliar coil in her belly. She wanted to lash out, to kick his prone figure. How dare he threaten her? How dare he threaten Garrus?

She turned her attention to the two C-Sec officers, the anger roiling off of her in waves. "Get the Councilors to safety. Along with him," she added, barely even glancing down at Kaidan's hunkered form. She glanced over at Kasumi, who looked more than a little startled, and then at Garrus. "We need to go find EDI."

* * *

Author's Note:

Dang, Shepard. Chill! ;;)

Next chapter features Leviathan … with a few changes, of course! Leave some reviews/comments/concerns. Also, who else is excited for Omega DLC? I've heard a lot of people who are as stoked as I am, but also some who think DLC's in general are a waste of money and time. Are you guys planning on purchasing it?

Love love,

E.


	9. Endless Song of Happiness

Disclaimer: We have a nice long chapter as a thank you to all of you amazing readers! This chapter's ironic song is "Endless Song of Happiness," by Yael Naim. Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 9**

**Endless Song of Happiness**

* * *

She did her best to ignore the onslaught of pings that kept coming through her omni-tool. Every single one of them was from Kaidan, and every single one was nothing but pain-killer induced self-reflection. After reading the first five, Shepard rolled her eyes and decided to ignore him. She managed to turn her ping notifications off (after grappling with the new interface for almost twenty minutes) so at least she could sleep without having a _ting _infiltrate her dreams.

Michel had already been in to take her temperature and give her some medicine, shaking her head over Shepard's mysterious high fever. After she left, Shepard dozed, only coming into wakefulness every few hours.

Every time Shepard came to, someone else was sitting with her. First it had been Kasumi, who was leafing through an ancient, dog-eared paperback. Probably one of the romances she adored so much.

The next time, Vega was popping chewing gum while gazing admiringly around the cabin. When he noticed Shepard was awake, he pretended to be uninterested and proceeded to give her a hard time about getting sick. She fell back to sleep before she could even respond.

Garrus had been with her next, curled against her back with an arm around her waist. He was asleep, breathing deeply, and Shepard found it easier to relax into sleep knowing he was there.

Liara was the next occupant of the room. She was sitting on the wrap-around couch, a strange box on the table. Her soft, lilting voice was filling the room as she relayed information on the protheans. She cited Javik for almost every piece of information.

When Shepard awoke again, she was alone. She forced herself out of bed, stumbling her way into the bathroom. She ran cold water in the sink, splashing it onto her face in attempts to sooth her blinding headache.

"Shepard," EDI intoned through the speaker, "I am glad to see you are awake. Would you like me to inform Michel?"

Shepard didn't answer right away. The same anger that had consumed her with Kaidan seemed to be coiling in the pit of her stomach, stretching like a lazy cat. "I'll go down to the med bay," she finally answered, keeping a lid on the hostility.

"Of course, Shepard," EDI replied.

Shepard pushed herself away from the sink and made her way to the elevator. She leaned against the cold metal wall as it transported her to the third deck. When the doors slid open, two privates and an ensign were exchanging jokes and pushed their way into the elevator without waiting for her to exit. Shepard would normally have ignored this small breach of courtesy; after all, who is to say they hadn't seen her, slumped as she was in the corner? It wasn't their fault she had shoved herself into the back of the elevator, hidden from view.

This time, however, Shepard did not excuse it. She glowered at the trio, who noticed her right away and looked appropriately abashed. "There is a reason," she began slowly, "that you shouldn't stand directly in front of the goddamn doors. What if I was a Collector, just waiting to drag you to my ship and liquefy you into a paste?"

The looks of embarrassment quickly became horror.

Shepard wasn't finished, though. She pressed the 'open doors' button and continued. "Hell, I could have just been Commander Shepard. But maybe Commander Shepard isn't in the fucking mood to get trampled by some kids while exiting the elevator."

She didn't even pay attention to the quickly mumbled apologies and salutes. She stormed out of the elevator as loudly as she could in bare feet.

Michel was standing just behind the partition between the mess and elevator, looking confused. She held a mug of coffee in one hand and a data pad in the other. "Commander, is everything alright?"

Shepard bit back the harsh anger that threatened to bubble from her lips. Instead she took a deep breath and murmured, "Alliance is getting lax with the kids nowadays. I would have been skinned alive by my CO's if they caught me barging into an elevator without making sure it was empty."

Michel raised an eyebrow but did not push the subject. She led Shepard into the med bay, setting her coffee mug and data pad down and turning her attention to the Commander. "How are you feeling?"

Shepard slid onto one of the examination tables. "Fine," she lied.

Michel wasn't buying it. "After how you reacted with those officers, I would assume something might be bothering you."

"I don't need a shrink," Shepard muttered darkly.

"I would never thing to presume such. I only thought you might need another woman to speak to," Michel offered, voice softening. She reached out, the back of her hand resting on Shepard's forehead. She made a soft noise of disquiet before doing the same thing to the side of Shepard's neck. "You still have the fever. If I wasn't so sure otherwise, I would think it was worsening."

Michel turned from Shepard and went to rummage thought her desk. "Did you eat or drink anything unusual or foreign while on the Citadel?"

Shepard frowned. "No. Kasumi and I had ramen and green tea. And a bottle of sake…or two."

Michel hummed. "Kasumi would be showing signs of trauma, as well, were it food poisoning." She returned with a thermometer, which she scanned over Shepard's forehead. The reading beeped instantly. The display read 38.7 Celsius. Chloe Michel inhaled sharply before murmuring, "It _is_ getting worse. You were only at 36 two hours ago."

The annoyance inside of Shepard took the backburner as she let herself grow concerned. "What could it be?"

"Honestly, I haven't the faintest idea," Michel admitted, her voice lilting as she bit down on a thumb, thinking. "I did not notice any wounds from the mission. No shrapnel or bullets that would cause infection…"

Shepard shook her head. "Nothing. I was shielded through most of it and passed out for the rest."

Michel watched her for a few moments before shaking her head. "I hate to admit this," she groused, "but I have no idea what is happening to your body. Are you suffering any other side effects, no matter how small? Headache, nausea?"

Shepard almost denied her side effects. After a moment's hesitation, she finally murmured, "Headache. Brief nausea when I woke up. Mostly it's just… this anger," she finished lamely. "I've felt on edge, impatient."

"Such as your reaction at the elevator?" Michel prompted.

"Yes," Shepard breathed. "I feel fine, but then this annoyance and hatred just curls in my stomach and makes me… I don't know. Makes me someone else."

Michel worried her lower lip for a moment before murmuring, "And your menstrual cycle? Could this be stress and hormones?"

Shepard almost laughed but kept it at bay. Michel was new to the ship; she hadn't been with them during the Collector base. "No… I had a hysterectomy almost a year ago."

Michel looked sincerely apologetic. "I am so sorry, I had no idea. I noticed you had a patient file with Huerta, but I never looked…" She shook herself, face showing more compassion now. "This anger just recently started, then? It isn't something that has been occurring since the hysterectomy?"

"No. It's a brand new occurrence. I am usually pretty relaxed with most things outside of the field."

Michel bit her lower lip. "I honestly don't know. I assumed it could be a hormonal imbalance, perhaps a lack of estrogen after your surgery. But if you just now beginning to show the effects…" Her voice trailed off before she threw her hands up in a tiny surrendering motion. "I don't know."

Shepard nodded, more to herself than to Michel. "Well, I guess it's back to the drawing board."

Michel gave her an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, Commander. I will try to get in contact with Chakwas and see if she might have some insight. Oh, and I almost forgot!" she added quickly, eyes bright, "Congratulations!"

Shepard had been in the middle of sliding off of the examination table and almost stumbled. "Congrat… for what?"

"I noticed the ring," Michel grinned, looking exuberant. "It's so nice to see love finding a place to flourish in the middle of all of this. When I saw it after your Citadel shore leave, I was so pleased. Is your spouse alright? Not hurt during the battle, I assume?"

Shepard stared at Michel for a moment, trying to wrap her brain around it. Did the Doctor seriously not know she and Garrus had been together for the past four years? "Uh, yeah. He's fine," she answered dumbly.

"I bet he's C-Sec, am I right?" Michel added, a mischievous glint in her green eyes. "I always pictured you with a high ranked Citadel Security human."

"Turian," Shepard corrected, feeling a faint smile blossoming on her lips. "And he's an ex C-Sec."

Michel nodded appreciatively, humming, "I knew it. You and I are more alike than you realize. I've had my eyes on a certain turian for a while, you know."

Shepard cleared her throat, trying to figure out the best way to get out of the room without laughing or tearing Michel's face off. "Right, well, I should be off. I, um, need to go check on things… right," she began, moving quickly toward the door. "I'll be back later, Doctor!" she called over her shoulder as she practically jogged away from her.

Garrus, luckily, was in the mess with a bowl of something that looked like it was scraped off the bottom of Shepard's boot. She ignored the food as she sat heavily across from Garrus. "You didn't tell her?"

Garrus looked mystified. "It's nice to see you, too?"

Shepard rolled her eyes, glancing back toward the Med Bay. Michel was at the window, staring at them. More specifically, staring at Garrus.

Garrus cringed. "Shit, I had hoped she wouldn't notice me."

"Why didn't you tell her about us?"

Garrus let out a sigh. "Honestly? Because I've been too busy avoiding her. You know how I am with confrontation."

"You're aggressive and blast the hell out of it."

"No," Garrus corrected patiently, "not when it comes to women. It took an embarrassing and awkward series of events to lead to our first kiss, remember?"

Shepard smiled despite herself. "I remember."

"What about you?" Garrus returned, mandibles twitching in amusement. "You were just in there with her. Why didn't you shove the ring in her face and tell her to back off?"

Shepard tilted her head to the side, contemplating. "You're right; dealing with women is really stressful. I just wanted to get the hell away from her."

Garrus hummed, taking a moment to scarf down a few bites of the sludge on his plate. "Told you so."

"Mmhmm," Shepard murmured, getting to her feet. She paused and smiled before leaning down, placing a kiss on his mandible. "I'm going up to my cabin. See you there later?"

"I'll be there," Garrus returned, reaching out to caress a talon gently across her cheek. "Take it easy."

When Shepard turned to make her way to the elevator, she spared a glance at the Med Bay. Michel was nowhere to be seen.

…

Shepard closed her eyes for a moment, once again overcome by lightheadedness. The entire goose chase she had been subjected to, following this mysterious Leviathan, had finally paid off. They found the beacon. There was only a slight setback, of course, as setbacks tended to happen with everything Shepard undertook.

"Shepard, this is insane," Garrus insisted, his eyes pleading with her. Rain spattered across his face, dripping from his mandibles. "You can't do this. I won't let you do this."

Shepard's eyes opened and she offered Garrus the best smile she could fake. "I'll be fine. It's just a little water." She didn't mention that her head was still spinning and her heart was hammering in her chest.

Garrus glanced to the side, where Cortez was taking readings from the aquatic mech Shepard was harnessed into. Cortez was doing his best to ignore the pair, but a faint grimace played across his features. No doubt the conversation was getting a little too close to one of his last ones with Robert.

Garrus let out a noise somewhere between a sigh and a growl. "Please don't do this."

"I have no choice," Shepard replied softly. "We're marooned, and whatever this Leviathan is, it isn't letting us leave."

Garrus's eyes closed. "I know."

"I have to do this," she added as gently as she could.

"I know," Garrus repeated. "Just… come back."

Shepard smiled faintly. "I always do."

"You're cleared, Commander," Cortez spoke up from the side of the mech. "I've done all I can for her. Your oxygen levels look good; you have about two hours' worth at depth, so try to keep it snappy. She's all juiced up, but it's been a long time since this thing's been in prime condition. I wouldn't trust it too much. Remember to leave at least enough for the thrusters to get you back here."

"Right," Shepard murmured, taking a deep breath. She tried to ignore the dark spots that swam in and out of her vision. "Wish me luck."

"Luck ain't got nothing on you," Vega spoke up, clapping Garrus on the arm, as if trying to cheer him up. "You're Commander Shepard."

"Damn right," Cortez spoke up, smiling. "We'll see you soon, Commander."

Shepard lowered the hatch. The last thing she saw before the hazy glass encased her was Garrus' startling blue eyes.

…

Blue. There was something… something she needed to do. Something she needed to get back to. Something blue.

So cold. Why was it so cold? There used to be something else. Something warm. Something comforting.

Disjointed thoughts jumbled together as Shepard froze, her muscles ignoring her attempts to move. She wasn't sure if her eyes were opened or closed. Everything was so dark.

_Why have you come?_

Shepard jolted, her heart like a sledgehammer in her chest. The voice was so familiar, layered and deep. It was as if the very cosmos was speaking to her.

_Why have you come?_

Shepard opened her mouth but there was cotton coating her tongue and cold water entered her mouth. She sputtered, choking.

I can't die, she thought angrily. I can't go out this way.

_Why?_

The scene shifted chaotically and Shepard was suddenly on all fours, retching, surrounded by blackness. Saltwater coated her tongue, burning as it trickled down her throat despite her vomit-wracked shaking.

_Why won't you die?_

I can't, Shepard repeated adamantly. I have too much to do. Too much riding on my success.

_Success eludes us all. We will perish in the face of the Reaping, or we will hide and scurry like mice._

Like you have done?

Chaotic images of wars and destruction filled her mind. She could see beings like she had never seen, god-like things, and blood. So much blood. There were wars; wars after wars. The protheans filtered through her mind, followed then by an image of herself. She was young in the image; fresh-faced and youthful, her Alliance uniform pressed and shining like a poor of liquid blue.

Shepard remembered the picture. She remembered posing for it, along with the other newly inducted recruits. She had been a mere seventeen but already a ranked soldier.

_We watch and we record. We record your efforts and your failures. Everything you do, we see._

Shepard was trembling but she did her best to get to her feet. Her knees buckled beneath her and she sank down.

What have you done to me?

_You are dying._

No.

_You can argue the fact as often as you'd like. You have very little time left. Use it any way you choose. _

I can't die.

_Why?_

I have people who depend on me. My crew –

_You are only one human. One mortal woman. What can you do that others have not done before you?_

We have already proven ourselves! We have done something none of the other races have managed! We have destroyed the Collector base, we have banned together – all of the races are working as one! Shepard argued, her entire body wracked with convulsions. She was losing feeling to her feet.

_Not all._

They will. They will all join us, once they realize-

The presence was gone from her head and Shepard was suddenly in the cockpit of the aquabot again, struggling for breath. The oxygen levels were depleting. She had ten minutes left, and that was at a normal breathing rate. As it was, she was gasping and trembling, expending more energy than she could take in. The bot's life was dwindling toward the 'half' mark. It would last longer than she did.

Cold water splashed around Shepard's ankles, seeping in slowly from a rupture near the bottom of the glass. The crack was slowly widening under the pressure. Something hot and wet was dripping over her lips and, when Shepard reached up, her fingers came back red with blood.

Shepard felt as if an icy hand gripped her heart and shunted her forward and she was again on all fours, surrounded by blackness.

_Why have you come?_

We need your help, Shepard wheezed, her voice coming out in a rush. You've killed Reapers. We need you.

_We do not involve ourselves._

You're already involved! You are an organic – you're as much a part of this as we are!

_We are not._

Shepard tried a different tactic. They know you're here. We are fighting them off of you right now. I am sure they're more interested in you than us at the moment. The one that got away and all that.

There was a hesitation before the reply came. _They cannot be defeated. You have no hope. They were cast in our own image; given strengths that your cycle cannot fathom or hope to overcome._

But you can. You can help us win. Help us end these cycles.

Silence. Shepard was losing feeling of everything below her waist. And then, finally, the response.

_We demand a fee._

Anything, Shepard agreed, heart fluttering faintly. Black spots danced before her eyes and each breath she drew ceased to bring in the required oxygen.

…

Garrus took a moment to glance down at his omni-tool. An hour and fifty minutes. Shepard had been gone for an hour and fifty minutes and the pit of Garrus' stomach became a nest of butterflies. She wasn't going to make it. She wasn't going to-

"Brutes, four o'clock – snap out of it, big guy!" Vega snapped, lobbing a grenade toward the oncoming brutes. The massive hybrids were ambling toward them, carapace-like head swiveling from side to side, scanning everything. The grenade exploded and the brutes stumbled, heads turning toward the pair.

It was at that moment that the aqua mech shot out of the ocean, its thrusters petering out so the mech touched down heavily on the deck. The hatch opened, as if on its own, and Shepard fell out of it. She was on the deck, face down, not moving.

"Shepard!" Garrus yelled. He was moving before he even realized it. He didn't hear Vega let off a string of curses behind him. He didn't hear the brutes let out a terrible growl and begin to move toward him. All he heard was the rush of blood in his head.

Vega managed to draw the brutes' attention to him and Garrus slipped by, unnoticed. He dropped to his knees beside Shepard, pulling her up into his arms. Her face was puffy and she was bleeding from her nose. "Shepard?" he whispered frantically.

He found her pulse, rejoicing in the faint sign of life. She was breathing, but just barely. There was a sickening rattle with every breath, as if she were breathing underwater.

He knew that humans would administer CPR to inflate the lungs and help others breathe. His mouth, however, was not exactly designed for CPR.

Garrus hoisted Shepard over his shoulder, running back to where Cortez and Vega were trying to keep the remaining brute at bay. "Someone give her CPR!" Garrus snapped, laying Shepard down on the ground. Her lips were beginning to turn blue.

Vega didn't even hesitate. He tossed his assault rifle to Garrus and ducked down beside Shepard, feeling for a pulse. "It's weak, but it's there," he murmured, sounding angry. Vega squeezed Shepard's nose closed and tilted her face back, mouth lowering to cover hers.

Garrus focused on the brute, trying not to listen to Vega's counting as he compressed Shepard's chest, trying to get her breath strengthened. He managed to finally take the thing down just as it charged them.

At that same moment, a Reaper began to descend, its spindly legs groping toward them from miles away.

Cortez was gaping at it. "Shit. We're fucked. Leviathan wasn't there. Nothing was there."

"Keep it together," Garrus snapped, although panic was rising in his throat. They were stuck on this hunk of metal in the middle of the ocean, rain pelting them, surrounded by a force field that fried their ship every time they tried to leave.

And now they had a Reaper inbound.

Shepard was suddenly up, sputtering a coughing, a lung-full of water splashing out of her mouth and onto the deck. She was breathing heavily and shaking, her eyes wild. "Leviathan?" she asked, eyes darting around her.

"It's just you," Garrus murmured, moving closer. "There was no Leviathan."

Shepard looked up and saw the Reaper, her pale face stricken. "No," she whispered. "No, no, they… they promised. They promised!"

Shepard was suddenly on her feet and, somehow, running. Garrus tore after her, terrified she was going to leap into the ocean. Instead she stopped at the edge of the deck, screaming, "You PROMISED!"

A terrible crack echoed through the air, sending shockwaves out. Shepard pitched and fell backwards into Garrus' arms.

The energy that had surrounded them, prohibiting their ability to leave, was now gone. The Reaper above them seemed to curl up within itself, its legs twitching and writhing in equal measures. The entire body was suddenly rent in two, the pieces falling toward them for a moment before exploding.

Garrus covered Shepard with his body, the deck plunging violently beneath them as pieces of Reaper rained down from above, causing massive waves.

"Garrus! Shepard! We have to go! NOW!"

Garrus didn't waste a moment. He grabbed Shepard and hauled her into his arms, running full-tilt toward the drop ship.

* * *

Author's Note:

How did we like the ending there? I am going to have Leviathan be a lot more than it ended up being in the DLC. It always seemed weird to me that this all-powerful Leviathan didn't get more face time. But hey, it's a DLC, what did I expect?

Anyway, did anyone else get the Omega DLC? I really enjoyed it –but then again, I am such an Aria fangirl. I don't want to spoil anything about the DLC, so I won't say anything else… besides that Aria's such a babe! I have a girl crush on her. ;;)

PS- Still taking requests for one-shots – let me know what pairing or type of story you're looking for and I'll add it to my list! You can reach me through PM or Twitter, cookyflukemegg being the screen name.

PPS – Oh my God, you guys hate me for talking so much, right? I wanted to let everyone know "Shifting Tides," my Dragon Age fic, is up! Go check it out. ::) Okay, I'll shut up now.

LOVE LOVE,

Eternity


	10. I Need a Doctor

Disclaimer: Today's chapter features the song "I Need a Doctor," by Skylar Grey, Eminem and Dr. Dre. Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 10**

**I Need a Doctor**

* * *

Shepard hadn't slept in seventy-six hours. Garrus knew this because he was keeping track. He didn't need much sleep; no more than three or four hours a day. Humans, though… humans were always sleeping. Shepard had complained about the fact a few years back, bemoaning that after 2 years dead and all of her artificial parts, she thought she might have gotten less tired.

But not now. Shepard had been running on nothing but three hours of rest, which she had gotten in the infirmary, bloated and disoriented from decompression sickness after her Leviathan hunt underwater. After those three hours, nothing could slow her down. She had eaten like a krogan, drank more water than Garrus thought was possible, and then made her way to the bridge.

"Joker, set a course for Kallini. We have some Ardat-Yakshi to hunt down."

Garrus watched Shepard closely over the three days it took to reach Kallini. She seemed fine – light, airy almost. She smiled freely and partook in the ship's rounds with a vigor he hadn't seen in a long time. It was amazing to see the transformation in her.

_And scary, _Garrus thought to himself, trying to be discreet and he watched Shepard pop into the Med Bay to speak with Michel. _This isn't like Shepard. Even when we first met, she was never this… exuberant. _

He knew he shouldn't be complaining about the change. After all, a little happiness was warranted; they had secured an alliance with the illusive Leviathan and taken down a Reaper.

Shepard returned from the Med Bay, raising her eyebrows at him and grinning. "What's up? You've been following me like a lost puppy all day."

_For the past _three_ days, _Garrus thought wryly. "Just want to make sure you're not pushing yourself. That decompression sickness sounds nasty."

"Michel gave me a clean bill of health. Stop being such a worry wart." She breezed past him, pausing only to steal a kiss, before heading toward Liara's room. Garrus took her absence to do something he swore he would never do – he went into the Med Bay.

Michel was in the middle of taking a draft from a coffee cup and nearly choked. "Garrus! What can I help you with?" She got to her feet anxiously, looking more eager than she should.

Garrus took a deep breath before asking. "Is Shepard alright?"

Michel raised an eyebrow. "Well, yes. The DCS passed through much faster than any of us could have expected. With the amount of air pockets in her skin, I thought for sure we would have to keep her under observation for a few days. Her levels were completely normal by the time she woke up, though. Really, it's fascinating how quickly she recovered."

"But her mood," Garrus prompted. "She's never been this… cheery."

Michel looked amused. "Well, I have never heard of someone complaining that their Commander is _cheerful_. Would you rather her be sullen?"

"No," Garrus murmured, looking torn. "I'm glad she's feeling better, but…. She was under a lot of pressure, a lot of stress. It's like she's completely forgotten everything that's riding on her."

Michel nodded, beginning to look a little uneasy. "Now that you mention it, Shepard had been complaining about a sense of anger that kept overtaking her. She even lashed out at some officers one day, all because they got into the elevator before she got out."

Garrus' mandibles flared. He hadn't heard about this. "She never told me…"

Michel shrugged, moving to sit at her terminal and pulling up a link to Huerta. "It's not uncommon. I doubt she would have divulged that to even myself, were I not pressing her about it."

Garrus decided to let that one go. Better to keep her focused than to admit he was engaged to Shepard and make her flail with questions and confusion.

Michel's fingers went to work on the terminal, humming to herself as she pulled up information. "Ah, here we are. Decompression sickness."

"How many cases does Huerta see? It's not like there's an ocean out there."

"No," Michel admitted, looking amused, "but we do see a few workers who help with maintenance outside of the Citadel come in. It's not about the water, it's about the pressure changes. Going into a highly compressed area, molecules and gasses contract and get smaller. Once you begin to return to a less pressurized environment, those some molecules get bigger."

"And…?"

"And," Michel continued, seeming to enjoy schooling him on her medical knowledge, "it causes problems if you cross over into a lower pressure environment too quickly. Here, watch." She slid a glove onto her left hand, holding it open for Garrus to see. "Imagine your lungs are my hand." She shook a few tablets out of a bottle of the desk. "And pretend these acidametephines here are gasses that you breathe in. You will only take in as much air as your lungs can hold, right?"

"Right," Garrus murmured, trying to follow along. He was a soldier, not a damn doctor.

"Okay. Now, once you get lower in depth, the pressure causes these acetemetephine to get smaller and smaller, so now your lungs take in twice as many particles of gas, or maybe even three times as many.

"Now, pretend you are at depth and need to get up to the surface immediately. Say you're low on air, or you're being chased by a water monster."

"A water monster?" Garrus repeated.

Michel grinned. "Play along. Anyway, you need to get out and quickly. So what do you do?"

"Get to the surface."

"But then you're passing into lower pressurized environments as you ascend," Michel murmured, still smiling. "So now, that excessive amount of small gas that you've been breathing in starts expanding and getting bigger. You're probably going too fast to realize the slight pain slowly building, and maybe you're holding your breath as much as you can to conserve oxygen."

"Shit," Garrus whispered.

Michel nodded, putting the acetepmetephine back in the jar. "Exactly. Luckily it seemed like Shepard didn't have much oxygen to begin with. Her life support had been dwindling and that ended up saving her life."

Garrus sighed; something was still niggling at the back of his brain. "Are you sure this change in mood can't be associated with it? With her decompression sickness?"

Michel hummed to herself again as she turned back to her terminal, doing a quick search. "Ah, I do show that change in behavior is possible in an extreme case of DCS. This would only occur if the oxygen expanded in her brain, though, and she would more than likely be showing more symptoms. Blurred vision, perhaps, or slight amnesia, confusion, seizures…"

"She hasn't been sleeping since the accident," Garrus interjected. "Not even a nap."

"She told me that just a moment ago when she was in," Michel informed him, looking a little confused as to why he knew that intimate of a detail. "She said she's been feeling anxious and asked for some sleeping pills. It's common to suffer sleep loss and anxiety after a close call, Garrus. I have a feeling her elation is just her body's way of rejoicing to still be alive."

Garrus' mandibles clicked as they flicked against his jaw. "Okay. She's fine, then?"

"Completely," Michel assured him, her smile flawless. "Say, Garrus. I was wondering if-"

The door slid open and Shepard stood there, just in time to interrupt Michel's newest proposition. "We're an hour out, Garrus. Suit up and meet us at the drop ship?"

"Right behind you," he breathed, saying a quick goodbye to Michel and darting out of the room.

…

Garrus took a deep breath and counted to ten before he threw himself over the barrier, running full-tilt to where Shepard was cornered by two of the shrieking Banshees. He ducked behind a partition and lined up a shot, hitting the creature in the middle of her head. Her face exploded in a mess of gore, spattering across Shepard's face.

Shepard, to her defense, didn't even seem fazed. Her shields were weakening but she kept her cool, aiming down her scope and landing another hit between the banshee's eyes. She then loaded an incinerate into her omni-tool, the ball of fire exploding against the creature's chest. It fell back, shrieking.

Shepard was panting as Garrus drew closer to her, helping her wipe the gunk from her face as best as he could. "Where's Kasumi?" she asked between breaths.

"You told her to run after the asari," Garrus murmured, voice sounding concerned.

Shepard blinked, seeming confused. "I did?"

"…Yes… the justicar left and you told Kasumi to tail her. Then we came down here and got attacked."

Shepard nodded, though her expression still seemed mystified. "Right. Right, I remember." She put her rifle back before grabbing her pistol. "Let's go. I don't want Kasumi left alone if there are more of these things roaming around."

Garrus followed behind Shepard, watching her as closely as he could. She had been acting strangely the entire mission. She had been dismissive with the justicar they found wandering through the monastery, and then needed to be reminded that they had once tried to recruit her for a mission. That had been excusable; after all, they had never actually met Samara.

If that had been the sole incident, Garrus could have ignored it. During their battle, however, Shepard had rushed head-long into the fray, seeming completely unconcerned that there was a new threat they had not faced before.

Now she was forgetting something that had happened no more than fifteen minutes before.

"Are you feeling alright, Shepard?" Garrus asked as they moved through the empty corridors and toward in the inner sanctum.

"Course," Shepard responded flippantly. "Just a little tired."

She didn't seem tired; she seemed wound up and wide awake. Garrus didn't press it; better to speak with her about it when they weren't possibly surrounded by asari-reaper hybrids.

…

Shepard pulled her breastplate off and unhooked her visor from her omni-tool earpiece. She was in the middle of unhooking her grieves when Garrus come off the drop ship and gently took her arm. "We need to talk," he murmured.

Shepard hummed her agreement, unhooking the thigh and shin guards before tugging her boots off and slipping into her usual pair of black flats. "What's up?"

"Are you sure you're okay?" he pressed. "You didn't remember Samara, or that you told Kasumi to follow her… you rushed off into a fight, throwing tactics to the wind. You've been acting…off."

"I know," Shepard admitted, looking apologetic. "I'm sorry. I knew I should have sat that mission out. I knew I should have sent you, Kasumi and Liara. I am all jumbled up. I think it's from lack of sleep." She let out a sigh, glancing down at her feet. "I haven't been able to sleep. Every time I try, I remember the ocean and feeling like I was going to die. I don't know, it sounds so silly when I say it out loud."

Garrus felt a wave of relief pass over him. Michel was right. She was fine. He pulled her into a hug, kissing her forehead. "It sounds completely normal. Come on, let's get you into bed."

Shepard grumbled good-naturedly, but allowed herself to be steered out of the hangar and toward the elevator.

…

Kasumi had been polishing Shepard's armor at Garrus' request when she found the small, glassy shard that was tucked into the breast compartment. Normally the compartment was used for storing ear plugs or other small devices. Holding small pieces of colored glass, though…

Kasumi tilted her head to the side, eyes narrowing as she inspected it. The shard was glowing faintly, the dark blue being usurped by a faint green now and then. It looked familiar, but she couldn't quite place where she had seen it before.

_It's probably just a talisman, _she thought suddenly and without really meaning to. All she knew was that she was suddenly freezing and she didn't want to move the shard from where it was nestled in Shepard's armor. She placed it back in the compartment, covering it with the Velcro straps and cloth, before turning and moving toward the elevator.

_I shouldn't mention this to anyone, _she rationalized in a voice that wasn't quite her own. _It's only a silly talisman._

* * *

Author's Note:

::) I'm sick, so leave me some Batarian smilies to make me feel better! ::)

What do you think is happening? Let me know in the comments!

Love love,

Eternity


	11. The Story I Heard

Disclaimer: Welcome! Chapter 11's song is "The Story I Heard," performed by the amazing band Blind Pilot. Enjoy, and don't forget to review!

* * *

**Chapter 11**

**The Story I Heard**

* * *

Shepard flipped open her terminal, scanning over her newest messages. One of them, marked urgent, caught her attention first.

Aria T'Loak.

Shepard groaned without meaning to, pulling up the message. It was short and to the point; typical Aria. She needed Shepard's help taking back Omega and offered a reward to sweeten the deal for the Alliance troops.

Sighing, Shepard glanced over the long list of requests and missions that seemed to be lobbed in her direction at every second. Shepard knew that rushing across the galaxy to Omega was the last thing the Alliance wanted her to do. However, Aria's promise of a reward was too much for Shepard to ignore and Aria was always one to hold up her end of a bargain.

Shepard pressed her comm. link and said, "Joker, set a course for the Citadel. I need to meet with Aria."

"Shore leave?" Joker needled, sounding a little too excited.

"I'll know more after I talk to Aria," Shepard admitted. "When we land, everyone needs to stay at their stations until I give the go-ahead."

"Aye, aye," Joker responded, terminating the link.

Shepard sat in the silence of her room, trying to ignore the constant buzzing in her inner ear. It had been bothering her ever since she woke up in the infirmary. It was probably yet another side affect from her hasty retreat above sea level. She could handle a little bit of buzzing in her ear; at least she wasn't forgetting everything and feeling high-strung as she had been right after the decompression sickness.

"Commander," Traynor's voice beeped over her intercom, interrupting her thoughts. "Incoming signal for you. It's marked urgent and the sender is private. I was able to trace this signal to UNAS headquarters at the Citadel."

"Patch it through to the vid com. I'll be down in a moment." Shepard was up and moving before she gave herself a chance to think about what she had heard. UNAS. Who did she know at the UNAS headquarters, and more importantly, why did they want to talk to her? As far as Shepard was concerned, the Alliance was the only organization that should be contacting her, especially with the war going on.

When she stepped into the communication room, however, she felt bile rise in her throat. The blue-tinged, pixilated figure before her was familiar enough that it made Shepard want to gag.

The coiffed figure of Priscilla Huerta stared at her coolly, her smile serene. "Commander Shepard, might I be the first representative of the United North American States to welcome you back to active duty. I am very pleased to see you looking well."

"Lark," Shepard greeted, voice tight. "How is the terrorism going?"

Lark's smile turned into something darker, something more real. "I think you must have me confused with someone, Commander. My name is Priscilla Huerta. I am the Speaker of the House for the UNAS."

"You know what they say about putting lipstick on a pig, Lark," Shepard replied. Lark's smile didn't flinch. "What do you want?"

"I was hoping we could have lunch when you are next on the Citadel," Lark purred, voice like silk. "Perhaps you could bring your little friend, Vakarian. I hear he made a full recovery, against all odds. You two are quite the fighters."

"Why would we want to have lunch with you?"

Lark's eyelashes fluttered in mock dismay. "Commander, don't hurt my feelings! I thought it would be a nice photo op. It would be good for Earth and all of our active troops out there to see us putting aside our differences, putting aside the politics, making nice and striving for the survival of our race."

"Putting aside our differences?" Shepard laughed. "Politics? You're a fucking terrorist, Lark. You sell weapons to the highest bidder. Hell, you probably helped the Illusive Man take over Omega."

Lark shrugged. "Sticks and stones, Shepard. You can call me whatever you want to call me; the fact is, the galaxy sees _you_ as more of a terrorist than me. Turning against the Council and Alliance, only to fall into Cerberus' bed?" Lark chuckled. "Besides, you can't prove any of this. Rattling on about me trying to kill you will just make you look crazy. You don't want that, now, do you?"

Shepard bit her tongue. "What do you really want, Lark?"

Lark let out an all-suffering sigh, as if she were speaking to an invalid. "If you are sincerely interested, meet me at the Café Dolce in two days. 1400 hours. I have something you might be interested in."

The call disconnected, leaving Shepard alone and more confused than anything.

…

"I don't like this," Garrus grumbled, glancing around the throngs of people entering and exiting the Café Dolce doors. He and Shepard and picked a table near the back so that they could keep an eye on the front door, and possibly make a break out the back door in case things went south.

"Me either," Shepard admitted, sipping her latte. "But, we have a few hours to spare before Aria can see us and I need to find out what this bitch wants."

Garrus' mandibles were clicking against his jaw in annoyance. "How quickly do you think we'd be gunned down if I shot her?"

"Pretty quickly," Shepard replied with a soft chuckle.

The door opened and the perfectly poised Priscilla Huetra strode in, pushing her overly large sunglasses onto the top of her head. Her smart suite was just tight enough to hug every curve without being obscene. Her blouse was a summery green, her pumps the same shade of slate gray as her suit.

She noticed them immediately and smiled that sneaky little smile of hers, coming toward them. "Commander Shepard, I am so glad to finally meet you in person. And this must be Mister Vakarian?" She extended her hand to Shepard, as if expecting it to be shaken.

Sherpard raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

Lark's smile was unaffected as she murmured under her breath, "I'm being tailed by a reporter. They'll take a few pictures and then leave. Act like this is a diplomatic meeting and for God's sake stop looking at me like you want to murder me."

Shepard glanced to the doorway again where a young woman was pushing through. A floating recorder followed her, its display turning toward their table. Shepard cursed before forcing a very generic smile. "Huerta. Pleasure." She extended her hand and took Lark's. They shook before pulling apart quickly.

"And Mister Vakarian?" Lark pressed, hand moving toward him.

Garrus, however, would not play nice. "If you want to keep your hand, you will get it away from me."

Lark's left eye twitched and she forced a laugh, pulling back. "Well, let's sit, shall we? Shepard, I see you already get a coffee. I think that looks divine. I've been trying to avoid caffeine; it tends to leave me jittery, but I think I might go get one. Excuse me."

Lark moved away from the table and met with the reporter. It was obvious she was convincing the reporter into leaving in exchange for an interview later that evening. If there was one thing Shepard could say about Lark, it was her ability to smooth talk any situation.

Once the reporter had departed, Lark went to the counter to get an espresso. When she returned, her smile was gone. "I hope you both understand how much I dislike doing this. Publicly meeting with you could get back to some very nasty individuals and leave me… exposed."

"You mean the Illusive Man?" Shepard pressed.

Lark glanced around and for the first time Shepard noticed the dark circles under the woman's flawless makeup. "Try to keep your voice down. Say the Devil's name and he shall appear," she grumbled, sipping her espresso.

"So why did you drag us here?" Garrus asked, never one for sitting patiently.

Lark sighed, running a hand over her smooth mane of hair. "Alright, look. I get there's some bad blood between us. What happened on Palaven was not exactly a friendly get together."

Shepard snorted, leaning back in her chair. "Really?"

Lark rolled her eyes. "Seriously, cut the shit, will you? I get you're still pissed that we tried to kill you, blah blah blah. I wasn't the one who kicked the shit out of you, by the way."

"No, but you let it happen," Shepard added.

Lark took a deep breath. "You're pissed and you have a good reason. But Illusive really fucked me over a few weeks ago and I…" Lark glanced around again. "I need a Cerberus general disposed of. General Petrovsky. He's the one heading the Omega occupation."

"And why should we do this for you?" Garrus asked.

"I know Aria has reached out to you, asking you to help take Omega back. I also know that General Hackett has approved the mission," Lark said quickly. "You're there to take him out anyway. I just need… assurance… that it is done."

Shepard narrowed her eyes. "What does he have on you?"

Lark bit her lower lip, obviously torn over what to say. "He has… proof… linking me to the Reds. I let my guard down. I was sloppy."

"And now we have to go clean up your mess… why?"

Lark glanced over at Garrus, just as calm and composed as ever. "Because, I am willing to give you codes; codes that can shut down their entire operation on Omega in two hours, tops. If you make it down to the reactor, you can put a virus into their entire system. It will be a station-wide black out. No communication, no monitoring systems… you can move like a ghost. In and out. You get the code, Aria gets her station, the Alliance gets all of the eezo she can give them."

"And you get your freedom," Shepard finished.

Lark sipped from her espresso cup before nodding. "Precisely. In addition, the Reds are willing to make a generous donation of new weaponry to the Alliance arsenal."

"What kind of weaponry?" Shepard asked, brows knitting together.

Lark's eyes darted around the café again before she answered. "We've retrofitted our biobombs to only affect synthetics. It's taken the better part of the last year to get the recipe right. It might not wipe out the Reapers, but it would be completely effective against the ground soldiers – the marauders and husks, brutes and banshees."

Shepard glanced over at Garrus. The look on his face was purely one of malice. "It sounds too good to be true," Shepard murmured.

Lark chuckled, her voice like tinkling bells. "No, Shepard, it's nowhere close to enough. For my freedom, I would be willing to give my very soul. Hell, I'd rip it out myself and tie a bow on it."

"That's a little counterproductive, don't you think?" Garrus growled.

Lark's face was angelic as she replied, "Not at all. My soul hasn't been a factor in many, many years."

* * *

Author's Note:

A little bit shorter of a chapter, I apologize. I thought this would be a good place to stop so that we don't get into Omega without me giving fair warning. So, here it is:

**OUR NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE THE (CHANGED) EVENTS OF THE OMEGA DLC**. _Do not read the next chapter (Chapter 12) if you haven't played Omega and you don't want spoilers_. I will recap the chapter (spoiler free) in Chapter 13 to give you the lay-down of what you missed.

Thanks, duckies! Leave some reviews for Lark! ::D

Love Love,

Eternity


	12. Fires

**Chapter 12**

**Fires**

* * *

Disclaimer: Sorry about the delay. I got so few reviews I went on a small hiatus to cry. ;;)

Because I had such a pill of a time writing OMEGA, I pretty much skipped almost all of it. Artistic license and all that. So, without further ado, here is our version of the OMEGA DLC.

Title song is "Grapevine Fires," by Death Cab for Cutie. Enjoy!

* * *

Shepard stumbled out of the wreckage of the escape pod, her head ringing and blood in her mouth. She was sure she had swallowed a molar that got knocked out in the jarring landing. She hesitantly tongued the back of her jaw and found the gaping hole where two teeth had busted free.

Shepard was pretty sure the pain would be unbearable if her endorphins and adrenaline hadn't kicked in during the crash-landing onto Omega. As it was, she was dribbling blood all over herself and stumbling.

"Shit, Shepard," Aria whispered, dragging herself out of the pod and getting a look at the commander. "This isn't how I planned this." It almost sounded like an apology.

"No worries," Shepard managed to murmur, turning politely before spitting out a mouthful of blood. "I died once. Teeth are nothing. Just don't let me fall asleep and the concussion should be okay."

"That's the spirit," Aria replied, though she didn't sound too enthusiastic. She reached back and pulled out her submachine gun, checking the barrel for any damage.

Shepard decided to be a little unorthodox and pulled out her pistol. "Lead the way, Aria."

"With pleasure," she breathed, breaking into a swift jog, boots thumping heavily along the walkways.

…

Shepard wasn't fond of Aria, per say, but she did respect Aria's lack of hesitation. The woman commanded her men in the way councilors at the Citadel ordered coffee – authoritative, no nonsense. She didn't stumble around Shepard in an aim to please, nor did she keep Shepard shut out of things. She was quick to bring Shepard into conversations and even, on many occasions, asked her opinion.

"Well?" Aria asked, voice soft as she peered over the top of her steepled fingers. They were sitting, finally, in one of the bases Aria's men had set up for them. They were taking a much needed break while medics worked on Aria's numerous bullet holes and Shepard's dislocated left shoulder. "What are your thoughts on Nyreen?"

"I know you have a history with her," Shepard began, wincing at the medic set her shoulder back into place. She breathed deeply for a few minutes, doing her best not to cry out against the pain. The medic was quick to inject medigel directly into the muscle to reduce inflammation and promote faster healing. "I just don't think she's telling us the full truth," Shepard finally finished.

Aria's face was impassive as her medics tore out slugs from her shoulder and stitched the wounds together. "Even when Nyreen and I were together, she never told me the full truth."

"Sounds like a healthy relationship," Shepard murmured.

Aria's eyes narrowed and at first Shepard expected to be biotic slammed into the back wall. A half smile spread on her lovely face after a moment, however. "No, I suppose not. But then, what relationship can be considered healthy? We're all using each other for one thing or another. To stem the loneliness, to keep warm at night, to feel something we claim is real… when how do we ever know?"

Shepard sat up a little straighter, brows arched. "Aria, I never took you for a philosopher."

Aria chuckled mirthlessly. "After close to a thousand years, you have no choice in the matter."

"Aria!" some called from behind them.

Aria turned her head, glancing back to where Bray had rushed up, looking more flustered than Shepard realized batarians were capable of.

"What is it?" Aria sighed. The tone of her voice suggested she already knew.

"I swear I only looked away for a minute-"

Aria was standing in an instant, the medics falling back quickly and stumbling to get out of her path. "You lost her? How could you lose her, we're in a goddamn bunker!"

"I turned away for a minute and when I looked back she was gone!"

Aria's jaw clenched and she muttered, "Get out of my sight before I do something I'll regret." Bray didn't need to be told twice. He turned and ran back toward the other mercs under Aria's banner, all of whom seemed very busy with polishing their guns or armor.

"Nyreen?" Shepard guessed.

"Gone," Aria sighed, sinking back into her chair. The medics returned hesitantly, like butterflies alighting on a branch. "This bunker has five different access points, three of which are hidden. Unfortunately, Nyreen knows all of them."

"Do you think she's a spy? Working with Petrovsky?"

Aria shrugged, as if she didn't have the energy to think about it. "Once I'm done here, we have to keep moving. If the Talon gang is still in the same spot, we have about an hour hike through bombed out commercial district."

Shepard nodded, picking up her breastplate and fastening it over her again. "I'm ready when you are."

Aria was silent for a moment before meeting Shepard's eyes. "I don't know why you agreed to do this… I certainly don't know why you've let me call all of the shots. You're the golden child of the Citadel, after all."

Shepard smiled, but she knew there was no warmth behind it. "We're in some desperate times. Besides, I have my own reasons. If they become relevant, I'll let you know."

Aria nodded and didn't press the matter.

…

"So, you're the leader of Talon?"

Aria's voice sounded annoyed, even over the crackling comm. link. Shepard had never been a fan of talking during a fight – she liked to keep her mind focused and tuned in on nothing other than her scope. Her desire for less comm. chatter might have been because she had only recently become proficient with the rifle, though; God knew Garrus didn't have an issue with talking while staring down a scope.

The thought made her smile and she almost missed Nyreen's cool reply of, "It would appear so, wouldn't it?"

The female turian was something else. The first thing Shepard had thought of when she had seen her is how eerily familiar, and yet not, Nyreen looked. Nyreen had the same small, sharp features that Solana did, however Nyreen's mandibles were strong and swiped backward from her face in an aggressive arch. Nyreen's head crests were smaller, less defined, and didn't feature the strange, feather-like preens that Solana had.

She was still beautiful, however, and Shepard could see what had attracted Aria. Nyreen was powerful and collected, just as Aria was, however she had a frailty about her that Shepard couldn't quite place. She was decidedly good, and therefore decidedly wrong for Aria.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Aria continued.

"Does it matter?" Nyreen returned hotly. "I needed to see if you were a threat to us or to the civilians. You're not, so now we're working together. Let it go, Ar-"

"Shepard, Atlas, two-o-clock!" Aria interrupted.

Shepard whirled, her rifle already loaded. She stared down the barrel through a haze of smoke that seemed to permeate all of Omega now. She caught sight of the orange reinforced glass and pulled the trigger.

She reloaded while, beside her, Aria lobbed flares at the mechs that seemed to be coming out of the very metalwork of Omega. Nyreen was further down and to their left, tossing lift grenades all over the place, kicking up dust and debris.

Shepard glared down her sights again, trying to get a clear shot at the mech. She could feel the ground shaking under its massive footfalls but couldn't see the damned thing anywhere.

A sudden flare of light parted the smoke and dust, just in time for Shepard to see the missile rocketing toward them.

Shepard grabbed Aria's arm and dragged her down, the pair hugging the floor just as their cover exploded in a mess of concrete and metal. Shepard was dazed, sure that the explosion had set off her concussion or caused even worse trauma.

Aria, however, was up on her feet and pulling Shepard's weight across the ground by her boots, screaming for her to get her heavy ass up. Shepard finally came to when a mech's bullet whizzed by her nose, just grazing the flesh.

Shepard got to her feet and pushed Aria toward the only cover remaining – with Nyreen. "Cover me," she breathed.

"What?" Aria asked, seeming confused. "Shepard, don't be a moron-"

Shepard sighted the mech and sent another bullet into the center of the glass. The orange glass was shattering, spider web cracks lacing out to each side. Shepard could see the panic as it flitted over the Cerberus engineer's face from where he sat inside the Atlas.

Shepard put her gun back and took off at a full run. She could hear Nyreen and Aria calling for her to stop, but she also heard the gunfire that meant they were keeping the rampart mechs off of her back.

The engineer seemed to have gotten his thought process back in order, for now he was raising his missile arm. The gaping hole was glowing a fiery yellow and was aimed right at Shepard.

It was too slow, though.

Shepard Launched herself into the air, her omni-blade sliding out and knocking into the weak spot in the dead center of the glass. The engineer writhed as glass exploded around him. Shepard reached into the cockpit, her omni-blade sliding neatly in the seam between his mask and suit. He went slack, body leaning heavily against the harness. Shepard unstrapped him and tossed him out, sliding behind the controls.

"Alright," Shepard murmured to herself, "time to see if I remember how to pilot one of these land models."

Aria and Nyreen gave each other identical looks of confusion just as missiles and bullets began spewing out of the Atlas, obliterating every rampart mech left in the vicinity.

…

They were so close. They were almost to Afterlife. Nyreen had skipped out about an hour before, after exchanging some harsh words with Aria. Shepard had taken Aria's side, of course. After all, Aria was the one supplying Shepard with troops and eezo if this whole thing panned out.

"Aria. Can you hear me?"

But now Nyreen's voice was filtering over their comm. link. She sounded pensive, as thought deep in thought or reflection.

Aria cleared her throat from where she was crouched beside Shepard, hidden behind a toppled pillar, watching as the civilians of Omega threw themselves into battle outside of Afterlife. "I can hear you."

The line was silent for a time before Nyreen continued. "I told myself that I regretted being with you. For a long time, that's what I said. That I regretted you. But…" she broke off. "How is Liselle?"

Aria closed her eyes. "She died. Murdered. By Cerberus."

More silence.

"I'm sorry. Liselle was… she was a good person. And I think, below everything… I think you are, too. I'm sorry, Aria. I'm sorry it couldn't work between us."

Aria shook her head. Shepard placed a hand gently on Aria's shoulder but Aria brushed it off. "Nyreen, don't be so sentimental. It was fun and then it was done. Stop dwelling. You don't need to worry about my feelings. I stopped paying attention for a moment and Cerberus killed my daughter. I stopped paying attention again and they took my station."

Nyreen didn't answer. Instead she jumped off of the upper floor balcony, landing gracefully in front of them. Sherpard stumbled, shocked. She hadn't realized the Talon leader had been dogging their heels the entire time.

Nyreen's slender body moved like a dancer's as she ran toward the doors of Afterlife, directly into the middle of a crowd of Cerberus troops and their genetically modified experiments.

Shepard wasn't sure what she was seeing at first. She stared in open-mouthed horror as a biotic barrier rose around the group of soldiers, adjutants, and Nyreen. Aria began screaming beside her, but none of what she was saying made sense.

The ground rumbled as the grenade went off inside of the field. The field dropped instantly, leaving a smoking crater in its wake.

Aria threw herself over the pillar, breaking into an all-out run. She dashed through the street, knocking civilians out of her way. Shepard stumbled after her, the shock of Nyreen's sacrifice and her still-muddled brain making her feet slow.

…

"I can give you information!" Petrovsky attempted again as Aria's boot landed a firm kick against his ribs. He was reduced to shuddering dry heaving, his body curled into a fetal position. "I can give you so much on Cerberus-"

"I don't give a single fuck about Cerberus," Aria hissed, kicking again. This one landed in a kidney and Petrovsky was writhing in agony, his mouth gaping but no sound coming out. "Cerberus is Shepard's little pet project, not mine."

"But what about The Reds?" Pertrovsky tried, muscles spasming. Aria's foot, which had been poised to lash out again, hesitated. "I know all about their leader. I can tell you all about her, about how she set the bombs that took down your defense grid! It was all thanks to The Reds that we-"

Shepard had crossed the room and placed her boot on Petrovsky's throat. He made a sound somewhat like a frog.

Aria looked amused. "So, is this part of your reasons for helping me? The Reds?"

"I don't work with them," Shepard murmured, careful to meet Aria's eyes and let her see the truth. Aria would not hesitate to kill her if she sensed a deception. "The Reds are the ones who kidnapped me back on Palaven last year. Tortured me. Almost killed Garrus."

Aria looked speculative before a small smile curved across her face. "You've never lied to me in the past, Shepard. Your blatant honesty is something I respect about you. Besides, I know all about The Reds and their little Miss Huerta. Stupid bitch," Aria added in an undertone. "I never suspected them of helping here, so thank you for the free information, Petrovsky."

Petrovsky croaked again.

"You knew about Huerta?" Shepard pressed. "How?"

"We caught one of her boys trying to smuggle some eezo out of the mines a few months back and he squealed like a piglet. Told me all about Huerta and how they were looking into making some sort of "Reaper Killer." A bomb that could take out synthetics while leaving organics unharmed. They were going to try to sell it to the highest bidder. Thessia, they thought, would pay a pretty penny to protect their home."

Shepard removed her boot from Petrovsky's throat, leaving him to sputter, "I have documents! I have video!"

"Shut up," Aria snapped. To Shepard she added, "You knew about this? About the documentation he has?"

Shepard swallowed. "Huerta met with me and convinced me to help her in this one instance."

Aria's smile widened. "Well, well, I see I'm not the only one sullying your reputation these days. I am assuming she promised you those Reaper Killers?"

"More like husk killers, but yes. In addition to scientists for the Crucible."

Aria nodded, looking amused. "Well, you helped me out, so here I am, returning the favor."

Aria reached out, grabbing Shepard's pistol and aiming it at Petrovsky. "You shouldn't have fucked with Omega," she murmured, pulling the trigger. She turned her attention over her shoulder, calling, "Bray, incinerate this sad fuck. Don't take anything from the body, got it?" She turned her cool eyes to Shepard. "Get going, you have a war to win and I have a station to whip into shape."

…

Shepard's boot had just made it onto the deck of the Normandy when Traynor rushed up to her, looking harried. "Commander, welcome back! I hate to rush you, but Priscilla Huerta has been waiting for you on vid com for over an hour."

Shepard nodded but stopped immediately, her head spinning at the motion. "Sure. Could you let Michel know I'll be down to see her in a bit? I knocked out a few teeth… and I have a concussion."

Traynor looked alarmed. "Ma'am, I don't mean to downplay the importance of UNAS, but don't you think you should see Michel first?"

Shepard shrugged, unclipping her breastplate. "I took over a Cerberus-run space station with it, I'm sure talking to Lar…Huerta… will be okay."

Shepard made her way back to the vid com room, mind foggy. Now that the adrenaline was out of her system, Shepard felt weak and her jaw was beginning to pulsate in pain. When she finally made it to the blue figure waiting for her, Lark made a face.

"You look like hell, Shepard."

"You've seen me looking worse," Shepard reminded.

Lark cocked an eyebrow. "I am sure I don't know what you're talking about." She was dressed in a perfect business suit and she was using her television voice – someone else must be in the room. "I just wanted to see that your most current mission went according to plan?"

"It did," Shepard intoned. "Petrovsky was killed in action, so I apologize we didn't have to chance to hand him over to Alliance for questioning."

Lark's smile was like a sunrise. "Oh, Commander, I am sure you did everything you could. The important thing is that we have all of those new resources from Miss T'Loak. I see she is also sending some experimental explosives that target synthetic compounds."

Shepard nodded, too tired to play along anymore. "Thanks for the call."

"Get some rest, Shepard," Lark said sweetly. "We need you one-hundred percent!"

"End transmission," Shepard grunted, turning away so she didn't have to see the faux-sincerity any longer.

* * *

Author's Note:

This chapter was a total pain in my ass. It took me three entire days to get through writing the first page (for reference, a chapter general takes me 3 hours to write and edit). I really don't have anything else to say about this chapter other than, a) I love me some Aria, b) Nyreen was a kinda pointless character in my mind, and c)someone needs to teach Huerta not to fuck with Shepard.

Also, a few of you might have been confused about Liselle – Liselle is Aria's daughter. She was killed by Kei Leng in Mass Effect: Retribution. Liselle had worked for Aria for a long time, so I assumed it only natural that Nyreen knew about her and would question after her well-being.

Hope you enjoyed. Please review! Hearing from you makes my day (and makes writing this story more of a priority! ;;) )

Love love,

E.


	13. A Sea Chanty of Sorts

**Chapter 13**

**A Sea Chanty of Sorts**

* * *

Disclaimer: Hey ya'll! Who got that killer Citadel DLC? Loved it. Loved it enough to get my ass in gear and churn out the rest of this story. ;)

Song credit goes to Margot and the Nuclear So and So's with, "A Sea Chanty of Sorts."

* * *

Kasumi Goto had never been one to take stock in nightmares. She had never been one to have nightmares, either. And yet for the past two weeks, she awoke in a cold sweat, sobbing, her chest heaving with shuddering breaths. She could never place what it was she was so terrified of - being terrified wasn't something Goto was accustomed to, especially not when it came to things as silly as bad dreams.

But there was something she was forgetting. It was there in the back of her mind, flitting between the blackness and the heat of her subconscious; the thing that gave her these dreams. She tried her best to call it forward, to enter those trance-like meditations Keiji had tried to teach her and Thane had urged her to master. She calmed her breathing, the hot tear tracks on her cheek cooling and drying.

There was something there, edging closer, becoming less translucent and more real. Kasumi breathed slowly and deeply through her nose, letting the air tickle out between her lips. It was there. The thing that haunted her in the depths of her dreams, when she was most vulnerable to its attacks.

It was blue. As blue as the depths of the ocean, and just as unfathomable. The blue was laced with green which seemed to ebb and flow, getting stronger, stronger, until it faded back into the blue.

Kasumi could feel her body shaking. Her hands were trembling, but she didn't pay them any attention. She was calm on the inside, calm as she faced down the blue depth that made absolutely no sense, and yet seemed to answer all of the questions she had been left with over the past weeks.

She ignored her hands, didn't pay them any heed as they reached out, still trembling. She pushed further into the recesses of her mind, chasing the thing that did not want to be chased.

She wasn't sure how long it took of internally searching before she finally pulled back with no more answers to her millions of questions. Her sharp focus was fading swiftly, being replaced by fuzzy spots and the warmth that came with being surrounded by friends and confidantes.

She blinked out of her reverie, expecting the fuzziness to fade away. But it didn't. Her mind was losing its grip on everything and she couldn't pull it back. She couldn't focus on anything, and soon the fuzziness was entering her vision, as well.

She opened her mouth, not even sure what she was going to say. Her mouth gaped and she began trembling, suddenly colder than she ever remembered being. She glanced down and saw the blood. Confusion filled her body as her stomach somersaulted and clenched.

She stumbled from her bed and fell wetly. Her wrists were shimmering in blood, which spilled across the metal floor. Kasumi opened her mouth again, this time to call for help, but all she managed was a strangled sob as the blue thing at the back of her mind flooded her vision, washing her consciousness away.

...

Liara was the one to wake Shepard. Shepard knew that something was wrong when Liara barged into the cabin, her eyes wild and her mouth pursed.

"What happened? Cerberus?" Shepard asked quickly, not even bothering with decorum as she flung herself out of bed, pulling a shirt and leggings on over her bare skin.

Shepard was reaching for her armor when Liara said softly, "No, Shepard... It's Kasumi. She's... she's in the medical bay."

Garrus was rousing from the bed now, his sharp eyes already keenly focused on Liara. "What happened to her?"

Liara opened her mouth and closed it again, as if attempting to compose herself. "We don't know."

"What do you mean, you don't know?" Shepard repeated, feeling her temper flaring. Garrus watched her carefully - her moods had been out of whack ever since her decompression sickness. Garrus was still wary about her shifting moods, even though Michel assured him she was fine.

Liara's brow furrowed and she let out a sigh which sounded more like a huff. "Her wrists were slit. She lost a lot of blood-"

Shepard didn't even wait to hear the rest of it - she was out the door, her feet slamming heavily on the floor in her hasty retreat.

Liara let out a soft groan and glanced over at Garrus, who was still sitting in the bed. "No matter what I say to her recently, she's always flying out of the room."

Garrus shrugged and murmured, "It's not you, Liara. Shepard is... stressed."

"Who isn't?" she muttered, seeming much darker than the shy, pleasant asari that Garrus had grown fond of. She softened then and added, "You're right, I can't even begin to imagine how heavily this is weighing on her. With Earth being overrun, and Palaven," she added, shaking her head. "She has very few things she loves and only one of those things is safe."

Garrus smiled, grateful for her words. "So...?"

"Oh, Goddess, yes," Liara started, looking ashamed. "I should go down and try to see if Michel needs anything else. Will you be coming?"

"Once I put pants on," he chuckled, staring at her meaningfully.

Liara flushed and turned away, heading for the door. "Goddess, Garrus, you could have said something sooner!" She left in a embarrassed shuffle, which made Garrus chuckle to himself before the gravity of the situation finally hit him.

Kasumi, Shepard's closest female friend, tried to kill herself.

Garrus quickly stepped into a pair of civilian clothes and ran to the elevator, a talon scratching against the Crew Deck button.

...

Kasumi's eyelids parted and she took in the sight of a disheveled Shepard and an always-attentive Garrus.

"Kasumi!" Shepard whispered, her voice sounding distant and far away. She came closer, leaning in on the bed and running a hand through Kasumi's hair. "How are you feeling? Do you need more medi-gel? More painkillers?"

"What happened?" Kasumi croaked, not recognizing her own voice. It cracked and no matter how many times Kausmi tried to clear her throat, it didn't help.

Garrus came forward with a glass of water and straw, handing them to Shepard. Like a nurse, she gently placed the straw to Kasumi's lips and waited a few moment, taking the water back before Kasumi was done. "You can't have too much water, doctor's orders," Shepard murmured, handing the glass back to Garrus.

"No one was ever killed from too much water," Kasumi groaned.

"Actually, a lot of people have been," Shepard smiled sadly, her hand back in Kasumi's hair, smoothing it away from her brow. They were silent for a long while before Garrus excused himself from the room, leaving Shepard and Kasumi alone.

"What happened, Kasumi?" Shepard asked gently.

Kasumi glanced down and saw her hands, so pale and neatly bandaged at the wrists. There was a haze of pink, the hint of blood, on the gauze.

"I didn't do it," Kasumi replied simply.

Shepard closed her eyes and Kasumi realized that there were tears on her cheeks. "Kasumi, please don't lie to me."

"I didn't, Shepard," Kasumi repeated, a little bit of venom entering her voice. "Why the hell would I do this to myself? I don't..." she closed her eyes, not wanting to see the way Shepard was watching her. As if she didn't believe a word that came out of Kasumi's mouth; as if Kasumi was under a microscope. "I've been having nightmares. I was trying to meditate, trying to figure out what kept bothering me. And then when I came to I was..." she broke off, her eyes finally opening and moving to Shepard.

Shepard didn't seem to think she was lying anymore; in fact, Shepard looked horrified. "Kasumi, look at me." Shepard bent lower and reached out, placing her fingers just above Kasumi's eyelid and pulling it up. She took in a sharp breath before pulling away. "Kasumi. Your pupils... your pupils are ragged."

Kasumi closed her eyes again as everything clicked into place. The blue thing she kept picturing. It was one of the orbs. She had somehow come in contact with one of the Leviathan orbs, but... when? How? She hadn't even been part of the mission against Leviathan!

"Kausmi-"

"I'll tell you all I know," she whispered past a throat that felt intent on suffocating her.

...

He didn't know who else to turn to and she understood that. She had been a great friend to him, a close confidante. At times, she had felt that maybe there was something more in their future than just being friends. It was soon proved a foolish notion. He had always been too enamored with the Commander to give her that kind of attention.

No one forgets their first crush. It was like that for Tali'Zorah vas Normandy. Even now, with all that had happened, with her new life and her new position on the Admiralty Board... she could still remember the slight pangs of adoration and regret whenever she watched him sitting at dinner, laughing with Shepard and the others, hanging on every word the Commander uttered... It was hard to forget pining such as one has when one is young.

So when the ping came through from Garrus, asking if she had a moment to talk, Tali felt the ache start anew. She felt guilty at how quickly she replied, giving him an affirmative to call. After all, she and Kal'Reegar were bondmates now, and...

The call came through swiftly and Tali answered too eagerly. "Garrus! How are things?"

"They've been better," Garrus sighed. "I was just hoping I could talk. Shepard's got so much on her plate, I don't want to add my troubles to it... Spirits, she's facing down Reapers and indoctrination left and right. Kasumi's back on board, but I don't know if we can actively use her after..."

"What happened?" Tali breathed, feeling her heart plummeting.

Garrus ran through an abridged version of their efforts, glossing over the less savory details of Shepard's moods and shooting Kaidan, along with Kasumi's near death.

"If she is indoctrinated by Leviathan, wouldn't there have to be an orb there somewhere?" Tali asked when Garrus came to the close of his story. "If there is an orb on board, you need to find it and quickly! Who knows what would happen if Shepard or, Keelah, if Joker became indoctrinated. Joker could fly you all into a black hole and..."

"I know," Garrus interrupted her frantic speech, his voice like a strong drink after a long day. Tali shook herself, trying to stay focused. Damn hormones being out of whack! "It must not be the full orb is the only thing I can think of, or else we would all be going nuts. We could really use you and your tech expertise on this, Tali. Kasumi won't be of any help to us if she's being controlled."

Tali worried her lip from inside her mask. "Garrus, I can't. I have... new responsibilities here with the Fleet. I can't just drop this and come running to-" She paused before adding, "I know this isn't the time or the place... Could you talk Shepard into coming out here? To Rannoch? If you can help us against the geth, then I can of course help with the Normandy."

Garrus sighed heavily. "I thought for sure those reports were false. You're really trying to take back your homeworld in the middle of a Reaper invasion?"

Tali felt the sting of his words and mentally recoiled. "It wasn't my choice, Garrus! And our people have gone long enough without our home-"

"You'd win your homeworld back, just to have the Reapers come and destroy it with you on it?" Garrus snapped. He took a deep breath and apologized. Tali could see him in her mind's eye, running a taloned hand over his face, his mandibles flicking in annoyance. "Sorry, Tali, I shouldn't... I guess we're all on edge. I'll talk to Shepard."

"Thanks, Garrus," Tali replied softly. "Good luck... If we don't see one another before the end."

She expected him to tell her not to be so final. She expected him to tell her she was being pessimistic. The line was silent and she almost though he had disconnected from the call. After a time, though, he murmured, "Thanks, Tal. You too."

...

Garrus had just ended the call when Shepard came into the cabin, looking harried. "I got a call from Hackett. Evidently the stuff we heard about the quarians and geth is true. They've gone completely insane and are battling it out for Rannoch."

Garrus nodded. "I just spoke to Tali. She asked for our help."

Shepard closed her eyes and Garrus watched her lips silently count down from ten. When she opened them, she looked tired and defeated. "We need their fleets. If we can get the quarians behind us-"

Garrus nodded. "Say no more. I'll send her a message and let her know we're on our way."

Shepard sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Remind me why we're doing all of this shit again?"

"We want to live," Garrus replied, his voice flanging with tenderness. "We want to get a house on the beach and maybe adopt some krogans to raise. Maybe a varren or two. And then we want to grow old together."

Shepard grinned, going to him and wrapping her arms around his waist. She pressed her face into his cowl, listening to the deep thrumming of his heart. He encircled her in his arms, enveloping her in the smell that was uniquely his own; gunmetal, medi-gel, and something soft and velvety and sensual. "That's right. Thank God I have you around to remind me."

* * *

Author's Note:

This chapter was supposed to be lighthearted. I had every intention of doing something fun. But, evidently my fingers had a different plan. So now Kasumi is out of things for a bit, they aren't sure where this orb might be hidden (does anyone remember something a little odd a few chapters back?), and now they have to go save Rannoch.

All in all, Shepard must feel like a grade-school teacher, running around helping people all the time.

Leave some love! Let me know you missed me! ;;)

Love love,

E


	14. Stars

Disclaimer: Title song goes to The XX for the song "Stars." I don't own anything, so don't sue! Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 14**  
**Stars**

* * *

Shepard couldn't breathe. She knew Tali and Garrus were standing behind her, watching, waiting, expecting her to take that first step, and then the next, until she was across the pitted metal and into the Geth Dreadnought.

But she couldn't. Her legs refused to move. She looked out into the deep expanse of stars and the flashes of yellow and orange streaking past, reminding her so much of the crumbling Normandy SR-1 that she was reduced to weak knees and shallow breathing. It might not be collector beams streaking by, only firepower from the geth and quarian forces, but the sentiment was the same.

God, if Anderson or Hackett could see her now. This was their savior, their last hope for the war, and she was nearly crying because of the weight of space crushing in around her, the weight of knowing that the slightest slip, the slightest misstep… and she would be gone. Just like before.

"Shepard." Garrus. "We need to get moving."

"I know," she replied softly.

"I'm right here, Shepard. I have a supply line; if anything happens, I am coming right after you."

"I know," she repeated, squeezing her eyes shut.

There was silence for a moment before Shepard felt the weight of Garrus' hand on her shoulder. She turned. She couldn't make out his features through his mask, but she could hear him breathing over their shared comm line. She could feel his hand through their combined armor and knew that he was there for her, every step she took.

But even so, the black vastness of space dragged out around her and made his hand feel insignificant.

Shepard swallowed past her fear and turned back to the docking tube. She forced herself to breath as she took one step. And then another. And another.

She walked slowly, listening to the sound of her own breath as she hyperventilated. Holes were punched through the docking tube at random intervals, too large to jump over but large enough to swallow her whole if she slipped.

There was a soft click and Shepard jolted, realizing someone had disconnected from the comm. line. Before she could cry out to Garrus and lose whatever spotty control over herself she had, she heard his voice. Garrus began humming something in her ear, soothing and unhurriedly. Shepard paused, listening, her heart creating a thundering drum beat to his voice. The tune was soft and lilting, like a lullaby but with a sad edge to it.

Shepard's breathing slowed as she listened to Garrus humming gently over their connection. His subharmonics flanged tenderly, caressing her in the sound of his voice and his love. Her feet began moving as she grappled with walking further up the tubing and around the hole that would easily empty her into the endless pit of space.

She took measured steps, bringing herself close and closer to the Dreadnought. With Garrus' voice in her ear, she could almost ignore the frigates around them, blasting shot after shot toward the other Dreadnoughts. She could almost forget that at any moment, at any time, the docking tube below her feet could be blown out from under her feet.

She took a few more steps and the hatch was looming before her, no more than ten meters ahead. She quickened her pace, her shoes clunking heavily on the tube as she walked, spurred on by Garrus' comforting voice.

And then the humming stopped at the same time the entire tube shifted to the left, a dramatic crunching noise echoing through Shepard's ears.

"Shepard! Move!"

Shepard's terror was pushed aside by the soldier in her. She rushed the other end of the tube, toward the hatch, closing the few meters as quickly as she could. She felt the ground falling out beneath her and let out a tiny yelp of panic, just as she leaped off and rolled, hitting the Dreadnought hatch heavily with her shoulder and rolling through the jarred door frame.

There was a telltale click of Tali rejoining their line, her voice frantic. "Shepard! Are you alright?"

"Fine," Shepard breathed, shaking her head past the dizziness that swam around in her brain. "I'm fine. Made it inside. I'll try to find another hatch."

"According to my scans, there should be one just west of us," Tali said, her voice still sounding shaken up. "There will be some kind of control panel in the next room."

"Got it," Shepard replied. She picked her way through rubble and wiring, discarded tubing and broken machinery. She found a few credits scattered about (how they got on the Dreadnought she would probably never know), as well as a gun mod for Tali. She pocketed the items quickly before moving into the next room.

The preliminary scan of the room showed control panel after control panel stretching out along the curves catwalks zigzagging through the room.

There was something beginning to buzz at the base of her skull, like the start of a terrible migraine. She winced and wanted nothing more than to take her helmet off and rub her temples. Self preservation in the face of the vacuum kept her from acting out on it, though. "I've got about three dozen control panels in here, Tali. Any idea which one I'm looking for?" Shepard pressed.

Tali was quiet for a moment before grousing, "Negative, I have no intel on that. You might be able to find a legend or map there in one of the terminals?"

Shepard stifled a groan and began moving between the terminals, checking each of their bright, holographic data feeds. Most of them seemed to be running simply to keep processes moving, as if one of them went down it would short-circuit a quadrant of lighting, or data, or even the Geth themselves.

"Don't press anything unless you're sure it will open the hatch," Tali warned, just as Shepard's hand hovered over a disconnect button. Shepard blinked, shaken out of her thoughts, and couldn't recall the idea to press the button.

"Right," Shepard murmured, the roar of blood rushing through her ears deafening. She pulled her hand away, gloved fingers curling in on themselves, and stared at the terminal. What had she been doing? What had she almost done?

She shook herself; she needed to focus on the damned mission before she got them all killed. She scanned over the terminals, eyes flickering over the consoles' bleeping letters and numbers.

The workstation she was looking for obviously wasn't on the ground floor so she took a ladder up to a second floor where only one console sat, blinking expectantly. She went to it and, thankfully, found the message she had been looking for. Open Forward Hatch? glowed eagerly, binary codes running below it in quick sequences that Shepard wasn't even about to try to follow.

"Found it," Shepard alerted them. "Get ready, I'm opening up the hatch."

Shepard flicked her finger against the holo-button and the ground began to rumble as the entry hatch on the other side of the massive hanger swung open like an oiled gate. A docking tube had already extended out from the hatch, stretching far into space and giving the Normandy a perfect spot to dock.

"We're starting to take fire, Shepard," Joker warned over the link. "We can't stick around here."

"Once Tali and Garrus are over, get back to the Fleet and give them support. Be ready to come back in for us if this goes south, though."

"Copy that, Commander," Joker replied. His tone was serious; he was in his zone and there was not going to be any kind of banter or guffaws.

The niggling at the base of Shepard's skull worsened, growing stronger, and she winced as she rejoined her crew on the lower deck. Tali reached out to her, fingers gently scraping against Shepard's shoulder as a sympathetic gesture. "You did great, Shepard. I only wish the tube hadn't chosen that moment to disintegrate."

"Better that moment than any of the ones prior," Shepard tried to joke, but her voice seemed hollow. Tali didn't seem to notice as she whispered _Keelah_ while vehemently shaking her head.

"Let's get moving," Shepard insisted, gritting her teeth past the flare of pain that blossomed in and around her head. "The sooner we sabotage this thing, the sooner we leave."

...

Things had fallen apart. Things seemed to do that a lot more in recent times. Shepard had been able to disable the Reaper commands that had been broadcasted to the geth, however the quarians had taken in upon themselves to fight instead of take to flight, as originally planned.

That option wouldn't have been altogether surprising, or unreasonable, in Shepard's mind. Except for the fact that she, Garrus, and Tali were inside one of the vessels that the quarians were shooting at.

Shepard was a little amazed they had made it out in one piece. Granted, there would have been no way they would have made it, if it wasn't for one particular stroke of amazing luck.

Legion.

Shepard had never expected to see him again – had honestly never even really thought about him since they parted ways. She had been too busy fighting for her life in Huerta after the Collector Base to ask where he had gone, and no one else seemed to have noticed his departure, either. She knew she should probably feel bad for forgetting one of her men –geth?- so quickly; but as it was, her head felt like it was shattering into a million pieces as they zoomed through space in their stolen geth fighter.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Shepard whispered, doing her best not to focus on how cramped the cargo area they were crammed into felt. She closed her eyes, trying to think of happy things. The black sand beaches of Palaven, varren pups running through fields of poppies…

"My apologies, Commander," Legion began, his voice squealing mechanically, grating on every nerve Shepard had. "The cargo space was never designed to haul a turian, human andquarian. Perhaps there is an adjusting lever on my seat-"

"Just get us to the Normandy quickly," Garrus took over before Shepard snapped. He gently ran a talon over her arm and she jumped, as if startled, and teetered from where she was perched on his left knee.

Her legs were tangled with Tali's, who was leaned up against Garrus' other knee, which kept her from toppling onto the floor. Tali made a strange clucking noise which sounded harsh through her mask's filter. She reached out to Shepard, steadying the commander.

"Shepard, you should go see Michel," she murmured gently. "I think the trauma of the docking tube-"

"Not now, Tali," Shepard moaned.

Tali fell silent, nodding.

The geth fighter finally arrived in the shuttle bay of the Normandy and the hatch couldn't open fast enough. Shepard practically launched herself out of the cargo hold and onto the shuttle bay's floor, stumbling as she made her way to the equipment lockers.

James glanced up from where he was lifting a massive dumbbell, looking like he was in the middle of a rep of curls. "Lola, _estas bien_?"

Shepard waved him off weakly as she moved to her locker, pulling her helmet off and gulping air. She was instantly feeling better, the pain in the base of her skull receding. By the time she got her chest plate and greaves off, the pain was only a dull throb.

"Yo, Sparks, what's up with Lola?" James continued. He dropped the dumbbell, seeming more interested in the drama that seemed to be unfolding in front of him. "And what the hell is going on with this ship? What, did you decide to hijack a - _what the holy hell is that_?"

Shepard glanced over, completely forgetting Legion's appearance might be met with some apprehension. "James, cool it. That's Legion - he's a friend."

The look on James' face was almost comical. He looked from Legion to Shepard, and then over to where Tali was climbing out of the cargo pit. "Why don't I ever get to go on the good missions?"

"That _bosh'tet_ fired at us! While we were still on the ship!" Tali fumed, ignoring James as she dropped to the ground and marching toward the elevator. "This is not how we planned things!"

Garrus was next to clamber out of the ship. He had already removed his helmet by the time he got to Shepard, dropping it into his locker. He left his armor on, as he typically did until bed. "Shepard, what you did back there… with the docking tube-"

Shepard held a hand up, silencing him. "I'm awesome and not a coward at all, even though I feel like one. Got it. Now, I have to go have a word with the Admirals and attempt not to punch anyone. Then get something for this headache. And then figure out how to win these wars before I go fucking insane."

She stood on her tiptoes, kissed Garrus' scarred mandible, and then began marching toward the elevator.

Garrus glanced over at James who was watching Shepard's retreating back. James then glanced over at Legion again, then Garrus, before rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. "I would ask, but sounds like I would have had to have been there for it to make any kind of sense."

"I _was_ there and it still doesn't make any sense," Garrus groused, mandibles clicking. "Come on, Legion. Let's see where we can put you so the Admirals don't try to tear you apart and study you."

"That would be preferable," Legion replied simply.

"It talks?" James asked, blinking. Garrus didn't respond, only moved toward the elevator, Legion's squeaky left knee joint alerting him that the geth was following. Behind him, James still seemed amazed.

"Estaban! You see that? The geth talks!"

…

Garrus entered the war room just in time to see Shepard's fist connect with one of the quarian's face masks. The quarian went stumbling, floundering on the central console, his head interrupting the smooth holo-lines of the Crucible's progress.

"That's enough!" another quarian – Garrus was pretty sure it was Raan, Tali's family friend – cried out angrily. "Commander, you have proven your point! Gerrel acted poorly and his actions will be reviewed once our homeworld is retaken-"

"How many civilian fleets did you save?" Shepard screamed. It wasn't the usual battlefield shout or the yelling he was used to – there was hatred in her voice. "You told me you were doing this to _save_ people! So how many of them did you save?"

"There were a number that crash landed onto Rannoch, however at the moment casualties seem low-"

"At the moment? _Seem_ low?" Shepard threw her hands into the air. When Gerrel attempted to stand, she pushed her boot into his chest and forced him back down.

"Shepard-" Tali began, her voice wavering. Garrus wasn't sure, but it almost sounded as though she was scared. Of Shepard.

"So now what?" Shepard continued, her voice lowering a fraction but every bit as hot and biting. "Now what do you want me to do? Go down there onto Rannoch, which is teeming with husks and potentially hostile geth, and fight my way toward your people who would already be safe _if you had retreated like you planned_?"

The war room was silent. The only sound Garrus could hear was Gerrel's ragged, angry breaths as he splayed across the map.

And then Shepard swayed. The movement was so slight that Garrus might not have noticed it immediately if she hadn't reached up, cradling her head in a trembling hand.

"Shepard?" Tali whispered.

Shepard looked up, her eyes meeting Tali's glowing ones through her mask, and Shepard shook her head. "I am not the savior you all think I am." She turned on her heel and marched out the door, not even acknowledging Garrus or Legion.

"A geth?" one of the other admirals broke the silence – Xen.

"An old friend," Garrus said quickly before the quarians could get any ideas. The sudden interest in Xen's voice was unnerving, to say the least. "He is here to help. Shepard would be very… displeased… if any harm came to him."

"The Commander is out of line!" Gerrel raged, suddenly finding his backbone now that Shepard was out of the room. "How can we trust-"

"I can vouch for him," Tali spoke up, her voice suddenly firm and resolute. She was standing up to the others and being the admiral she wanted to be. Garrus was proud of her in that moment, of all she had become. "He fought alongside us against the Collectors. And now he chooses to fight alongside us against the geth."

Legion stepped forward, lowering his head in what seemed like gratitude. "Thank you, Tali'Zorah vas Normandy. We are pleased to work with you again." To the others he began, "You have stopped the Reaper code from the Dreadnought, but there is still a remote-access facility on Rannoch."

Tali closed her eyes, the glow fading behind her mask. "So that means…?"

"That means we are not out of the woods yet," Raan whispered. She turned toward Garrus. "Will the Commander be well enough to help us one more time?"

"_One_ more time?" Garrus chuckled humorlessly. "Don't make promises you aren't able to keep, Admiral. I have a feeling you will be asking much more of Shepard than any reasonable person would agree to." He felt a lump of fear growing in his throat, an uncomfortable weight in his stomach. He wasn't sure what had caused Shepard's breakdown in the middle of the war room, and he wasn't sure if it was something she could cool down from. It had looked serious.

"I'll talk to her," Garrus said finally. "I make no promises."

"If she wants our fleets-" Gerrel began harshly.

"Shut up, you _pyjak_," Tali retorted hotly, eyes narrowed.

"Tali," Raan chided gently. To Gerrel she added, "Perhaps you should take a few moments to collect yourself and return to us then. You could try to hail Admiral Koris, perhaps?" Gerrel seethed quietly before turning on his heel and heading into the communications room.

Garrus took the moment to depart, leaving Legion in the capable, begrudgingly willing hands of Tali.

…

Author's Note:

I really don't have much to say, other than Shepard is losing it. But I never fully understood how a single person could go through everything Shepard's been through without going absolutely bat-shit.

_**Poll of the Day**_- Is Shepard just fantastic at handling stress and getting the job done, or fantastic at hiding the fact he/she is seeing pink elephants all over the place? If you were in Shepard's place, what would be your major stress-relief activity?

Leave some love love in the comments!

Love love,

E.


End file.
